Monthly Archives: May 2012

Mom

My mom and I have the same hands.  She humored me for this post by letting me take these silly pictures to prove it.  Our hands are exactly the same size.  In fact, when pressed together, they are mirror images.
The older I get, the more of my mom that I find in myself.  Hands, laughter, kindness.  I owe much of who I am to her.  She influenced me to become a teacher.  She showed me how to be brave and not care so much about what others think.
“To thine own self be true.”  The most famous words of wisdom from my mom.
For so many years I fought against all of the things that I admire most about her.  Refused to eat the right foods, scoffed at activism, pretended not to care about nature.  In all of my childish efforts to be different from my mom, I’ve ironically turned out in many ways to be the same.
Better yet, I am now proud of these similarities.
Being a mom has to be one of the hardest jobs on the planet.  All of that waiting for your kids to fully appreciate, understand, and embrace your efforts.
Thank you Mom for your patience.
My mom and I are more alike than I realize.
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Oh, May.

While other teachers count down the days until summer, I childishly declare my love for May.  In fact, May might just be my favorite month of the teaching year!  I think it goes back to that correlation between anticipation and happiness– May is like the Friday of teaching.

Oh, May.

You bring two weeks of testing,
With four minimum days.
Oh, how I love thee,
Let me count the ways.

First there is time,
Each day out by four,
No more long evenings,
Watching the door.

Second there is sunshine,
Evenings stretch before dark,
Time to do yoga,
And take the dog to the park.

Last there is teaching,
With the tests over and done,
More time for history,
For art, and for fun.

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Why my toes will be naked this summer!

I love pedicures as much as the next girl.  In fact, I anxiously await the warm months for the excuse to have someone rub my feet and make my toes look cute.  It’s a cheap thrill.  In my circle of friends, it’s also a social ritual.

However, this summer, my toes will be naked.

I make this declaration now because I know that it is going to take some serious self-control to decline the inevitable invitations.

Here’s why I’m abstaining:

1.  When my last pedicure finally chipped away this fall, I discovered that my toe nails were half dead, suffocated beneath the polish.  Six months pedicure free, they’re beginning to look healthy again.

2.  Prompted by my experience above, I decided to do a little research on the chemicals in nail polish.  Among my most interesting findings, I discovered that chemical-free nail polish, which I planned to substitute, often contains the same harmful toxins despite claims to the contrary, (further reading click here).

3.  In college, my IR classes highlighted the unfortunate truth that many nail salons are part of human trafficking rings.  Immigrants are promised jobs in the US, then work as indentured servants to earn back their freedom.  The conditions of these arrangements often border on modern slavery, not to mention the harmful effects of breathing toxic nail polish all day.  Click here for one example in Ohio.

So, there you go.  Naked toes seem like an easy way to cut back on some of the toxins in my body, restore health to my sad little toe nails, and make a social statement that people shouldn’t be forced to breathe toxic nail polish fumes all day as a job.

I promise, if you know me in real life, I will attach no judgment to whether you continue to use nail polish or visit nail salons.  Goodness knows that I still buy clothes made in sweatshops, talk on a cell phone that could debatably give me a brain tumor, and partake in all sorts of other activities that people disagree with on either health or moral grounds.  I can only handle a couple of battles at a time, so I chose this one.

Good-bye nail polish 😦
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Retail Therapy: Anticipation Purchases

I fancy myself minimally materialistic.  I won’t lie and say that I don’t like new things– I do, but generally I avoid situations that make me want to purchase items that I don’t need.  In other words, I consciously avoid shopping.

However, today I gave in.  Alex and I went to find new jeans for him and came home with goodies for me.  New running shoes, check.  Need those to run on the beach.  A hat to block the Hawaiian sun from my face, essential.  Flip flops to replace the ones rotting from yard work, yep.  1950’s inspired D&G sunglasses to look cute, okay, I didn’t need those, I just wanted them, badly.

Thanks to Nordstrom Rack I managed to purchase all of these items for around $160.  Not bad when you consider that the D&G glasses retailed for $155 alone.  In fact, it’s a rare dose of retail therapy that so far brings zero remorse.  Usually, I have a hard time buying anything for myself, anything, and often I end up taking everything back.

I don’t feel guilty this time is because I justified everything as “necessary” vacation purchases for our summer trip.  A stretch, perhaps, but I have always derived extra morsels of anticipation from buying little things to use on vacation.  Somehow, these purchases prolong the happiness derived from travel as their imagined use enhances the entire experience.

Maybe retail therapy is not the secret to lasting happiness, but sometimes, it really doesn’t hurt.

My collected treasures…
Now I’m officially beach ready!
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To sell or keep your wedding dress?

Most people sound surprised when I tell them that I’m selling my wedding dress.

“Don’t you want to keep it?”
“What if your daughter wants to wear it?”
“I bet you’ll wish you had it when you’re an old lady.”
Maybe they’re right.  It is not an easy choice.  I am attached to it.  
However, it also bothers me, hanging there in my closet, taking up so much space for the sake of the past.  My real attachment is to the memories, the pictures, the day.  The actual dress is just one piece that happens to take up a gigantic amount of space in my bedroom’s “quaint” 1950s closet.
While I understand the logic of keeping it, I also romanticize the idea of it living on as part of someone else’s special day.  Perhaps it will be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but with a wedding dress between strangers.  I almost imagine it becoming its own story, a book even.  Living on from love story to love story.  Ending its life well-used, tattered in some thrift store until someone finds it and decides to reinvent it again.  Maybe I have too much hope for my little old dress.
The hippie in me likes the idea of selling it though.  Let someone else use it again.  Reduce, reuse, recycle.
I know there is a chance I’ll miss it, but I also enjoy the small act of rebellion in not holding onto it.  We’ll see.  Someone actually has to buy it first.  
When I went shopping for a wedding dress, I thought I wanted something understated, tea length maybe.  I almost bought a vintage Audrey-Hepburnesque dress that hit at the knees.  I anticipated the shock value of defying tradition.  However, no other day in my life would I ever have the excuse to revel in such pageantry.  I didn’t even want to try this dress on, but my sister Kaitlyn convinced me, and once it was on, I was happy.  Now, it would be cool if this dress could make someone else feel the same way!
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Writing: Hope, Focus, Perseverance

Audrey Niffenegger, author of Time Traveler’s Wife, sent out 25 agent queries before landing an agent.

I don’t fancy myself at her level of writing, so I am prepared for the reality that finding a home for my first book may take forever, literally.  While I’m researching agents with similar authors and small publishers accepting manuscripts, I’m also anxious to start writing again.  Writing is the fun part.
My next book already lives inside my head and I’m obsessed.  It’s very different than my first.  Darker, more developed.  This time, I plan to thoroughly brainstorm the characters backgrounds before I begin.  I’m excited to see my writing grow.
Last time, in the heat of 50,000 words in one month, (under Nanowrimo’s tutelage), I knew where I wanted to go, but I didn’t stop to plan along the way.  In some ways this was wonderful.  It got me past the first couple of chapters, where I usually get stuck.  It also surprised me as the plot unfolded, allowing me to live in the story like a reader instead of just following an outline.   
I’ve tried to outline write before, it didn’t work for me.  I had fun writing the outline and then lost interest when it was time to write the middle chapters.  
Do you have a writing process that works best for you?  
I enjoy hearing how other people write.  I relate a lot to Audrey Niffenegger.  She wrote Time Traveler’s Wife for herself, for the enjoyment of writing, in her moments between doing other things.  I could not help but note that she’s older than I am.  This gives me hope that I can craft myself into a distinguished writer over time.

Now, all I need is a mantra…

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Happy May Day: Let’s Bring Back the 40 Hour Work Week!

Life is so much happier when we spend 8 hours a day at work.  The days that I leave school at 3:30 feel so much more complete.  I have time for a nap, yoga, writing, walking the dog, and spending time with my husband– all in one evening!

However, 3:30 days are rare.  And, I know I’m not alone.  Eight hour days were uncommon at my old job.  Friends all complain of being overworked.  Companies blame the recession.  A recent media debate exploded around whether people have to be parents to justify leaving work at 6:00.

I know that I’m lucky.  If I plan my time right, I can leave at 3:30 some days.  As a teacher, I also get breaks.  But, I sacrifice pay for these luxuries.

In honor of May Day, I proclaim my support of a societal shift back to the 8-hour workday!  Call me a Marxist, but we could all use a little more life in our life!

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What is your book about?

Today, I showed up to work and was humbled by all of the interest that I received about my book.  For some reason, I forget that I broadcast pieces of my life on the internet, so it always throws me off when my real and cyber worlds collide.

The question that I received repeatedly, “What is your book about?”

Seems easy enough.  I just get so self-conscious about sharing my writing soul to real live people, (somehow internet people, even if they’re actually the same people, are less intimidating!).

My one sentence answer:  A couple that is frustrated with their jobs and life and decides to sell everything to travel separately.

Not the most poetic response, but truthful.

Even trickier, however, is putting my 59,089 words into a couple of meaningful and engaging paragraphs.  If you’ve already read my previous attempts, save yourself the time now, stop reading.  Tonight’s attempt is likely no better than before, and more likely than not, will drive me crazy with revisions.

However, if you’re new to my explanation of my book, read on!  As always, thoughtful input is welcomed:

Expecting Happiness

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