Hurtling down an unknown highway, sitting in the middle of a crowded minivan filled with people from various points in my life, I died in my dream tonight. As I was declared gone, all my lives were listed off, some men, mostly women, a ratio that was oddly pleasing. However, as the list was read, I panicked. I was afraid there was no turning back. I still had so much to do, I still wanted to be with you.
Then I was reassured we’d still be together, in time, if that is what we wanted. Once I trusted this was true, I was alright. All the while, “To Be With You” played loudly in my head. As if on cue, my husband crawled into bed, waking me, rousing me to say, “I have good news… I’ll still get to be with you.”
Then I cried, knowing how much I hoped my words to be true, because deep inside all I want is to be with you. Song still playing loudly in my head, I grabbed the laptop, and we watched the music video together, the lyrics forcing more tears down my cheeks. The moment passed, my husband quickly fell asleep, cat and dog breathing quietly nearby, our sweet little family that I never want to give up, me still awake, softly singing, maybe even still crying. All because someone emailed me a lip sync rendition of that song yesterday.
I share because I’d like nothing better than for this to be true. Also because I hope the thoughts will stop swirling through my head and that now I’ll be able to go to sleep.
Hold on, little girl
Show me what he’s done to you
Stand up, little girl
A broken heart can’t be that bad
When it’s through, it’s through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on, baby, come on over
Let me be the one to show you
I’m the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you’ll feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you…