I am sure you have already seen these clips before. The first is the real thing, the second is a parody. Women are asked to describe themselves and focus on their weaknesses. Men are asked to do the same thing and overplay their strengths. While both offer an unbalanced self-image, I think we women have something to learn from our beloved male counterparts. A little self-love could do us some good.
A friend sent me both these clips a couple weeks ago, I watched and laughed (and cried) and then moved on. However, the messages stuck with me. Out at dinner with friends, a girlfriend and I noticed how our husbands like to talk themselves up, “I’m great at… One of my strengths is…” We laughed because we never go around giving lists of our positive qualities to each other.
Maybe we should start.
oliviaobryon 
Fascinating. I have a problem with him having drawn Brad Pitt and George Clooney in response to a couple of the men. That he did that suggests he had a point to prove rather than doing something that honestly represented what the men were saying, even if the men were obnoxious about it.
Here’s what I have told a good friend and what I think everybody should do. When you look in the mirror, look at yourself through the eyes of the one who loves you the most. It’s that simple. See yourself as your lover sees you.
Oh yeah, the second one is totally an exaggerated spoof, just hits on something real– most men seem better at pointing out their strengths. I like that idea though, of looking at yourself the way someone who loves you does.
I suppose I should have figured it out. Problem is that’s how a lot of men are, I guess. Loved the “kind of a white Denzel Washington” one. Um, yeah, OK.
Lol, so true, which is why I keep thinking of it when I’m out with men… I often think, wow, did you really just say that? But, then again, I admire self-assurance in the right dose.
Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I can’t imagine sitting around with any of my male friends and having conversations like that. I don’t recall having them when I was that age either.
I think a lot if it is done in jest, but even so, women don’t seem to joke around that way. To be fair, it’s not like it dominates the conversations or has been done obnoxiously, I just notice men point out their strengths more often than women now that I’m tuned into it. And, the more I think about it, the more often I think it is used to make comparisons, “I’m actually great at ___ but not at___.” Interesting to think about.
Very interesting, and very sad. The spoof was quite funny, except that one of the ‘ugly’ sketches looked kind of like me!
Perhaps you’re more like us women and don’t see the real you 😉
No, I saw the sketch and said, “Who is that handsome guy?”
Actually, from high school through my mid-20s, I hated how I looked. I’m much more comfortable with myself than I used to be.
🙂
Women are often socialized to be self-deprecating, which is tiresome, unless you are really funny. Men are often socialized to be self-aggrandizing–just as tiresome. It’s hard to hit that balance, but I’ve noticed the most self-confident people I know (of both genders) enjoy complimenting others.
Yes, I’m completely with you– true self-worth is evident in how we treat (and compliment) others. That said, I think we might have to practice talking kindly about ourselves to erase all that self-deprecation!
A while back, I came upon a blog post or short article written by a woman. She talked about how she caught herself looking at herself in the mirror, trying on clothes, etc., and frowning, grumping, complaining about how bad she looked–in front of her daughter. She wrote about how important it is to demonstrate self-appreciation, for lack of a better word. Not only could it make her feel better about herself, but it would model a more positive behavior for her daughter.
This is not to absolve men, who can be ridiculously judgmental (and ridiculously verbal about it), but she thought it might help in some way. I wish I could find it now.
I read the same post and loved it! It’s so true that we model how to think of ourselves… We can’t expect girls to like the way they look if they hear us complaining all the time. That was a great post– I wish I remembered where it came from, too.
PS. You won’t believe this– the same article I was thinking of was just rerun and posted to FB without me even looking for it: http://offbeatfamilies.com/2012/11/telling-daughters-im-beautiful