Tag Archives: book pitch

In other news, I see why it’s easy to reject manuscripts.

I just stopped by the pitch party over at Brenda Drake’s site and scrolled through dozens of pitches only to realize my attention span is quick– authors either had me or didn’t in the first couple lines and only a few got me to read their whole entry. Likewise, I realized I have distinct taste in what I will read and won’t, as some genres were an instant skip.

This is not to say the entries I did not read were bad, but rather I now empathize a bit more with agents. They know what they like/are looking for and if you send a query to an agent who doesn’t rep your genre, you’re wasting your time. If you write, I challenge you to go read through some of the entries, really puts everything into perspective to imagine an inbox full of pitches. It also takes a little of the burn out of rejections to recognize your own narrow interests.

The good news, there are a lot of different tastes out there…

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Help me write a better pitch (Please and thank you)

Here is my revised pitch as it currently stands, (the old one can be viewed under the Expecting Happiness tab):

As Jake sits on the bathroom floor and holds his crying wife, he knows something needs to change. Stable jobs and a house are not enough. A child seemed like the answer, but Kristen lost the baby and now she locks herself in the bathroom to be alone.

Emboldened by their loss, they say, “Fuck it all.” They quit their jobs, sell their house, and embark on separate journeys. Separate because they want different things–

Kristen wants to face the world without Jake around to hold her up. She departs for Europe looking for independence but inches her way closer to an old friend living in Paris. His name is Gustavo and he makes her blush.

Jake, on the other hand, wants to find a place to start over, somewhere he can convince Kristen to begin a family. Of course, he also craves a little adventure. He sets off on a cross-country road trip but instead finds himself on another continent, a part of someone else’s family.

Even with new faces and changing scenery, life is not complete. Torn between the allure of the unknown and their unrelenting longing for one another, Kristen and Jake must ultimately choose which life holds the secret to greater happiness.


So, there you have it, months and months of painstaking tweaks… And still not quite right!

Here are a few questions I have grappled with:

Do I need to include physical descriptions of the characters and/or their ages? (Leaning toward no after my last post…)

Does my ending work?

How can I make this stronger?

If you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them. As long as feedback is offered constructively, I am very open. My goal, after all, is to make my pitch better and I know it’s not quite there yet. If you feel more comfortable offering input privately, feel free to email me at olivia@oliviaobryon.com. And, if you write, post your pitch and I’ll be happy to return the favor! (Cough, cough:: Kozo it’s your turn!)

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Drafts and drafts and drafts

As mentioned in newer posts, this is my evolving (or devolving, depending on the day) description of my novel.  It is a work-in-progress that will hopefully come together once my book is officially ready to submit.  If you have any helpful suggestions, I am always excited to listen.

Expecting Happiness
Kristen and Jake used to be like many other young married couples. Despite their love for one another, they somehow found themselves stuck in windowless cubes, trudging to meaningless jobs, grasping for purpose.  That is, until a failed pregnancy changed everything.

Acutely aware of their unhappiness, Kristen and Jake say “Fuck it all.”  They quit their jobs and sell their house to embark on separate journeys.  Instead of traveling together, they seek time apart, unwilling to compromise their visions of self-discovery.  While Jake, a lanky but attractive runner, heads across country by car, intent to live out his fantasy of solitude on the open road, Kristen, a self-conscious contrast of dark hair blue eyes, departs for Europe, searching for independence even as she inches her way closer to an old flame living in Paris.

New friendships, passions, and adventures abound along the way.  Torn between the allure of the unknown and their unrelenting longing for one another, each must ultimately decide which life holds the secret to greater happiness.

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