200 Words to Sell Myself!

Oh how I love Nanowrimo… It really has changed my life, pushing me to write copiously and quickly. Today it pushed me into action with its newest challenge: pitch your book in 200 words or less. February is Pitchapolooza month and the winner gets hooked up with an intro to an agent. Now, I realize that my chances of “winning” are slim, but pitching needs to happen regardless, so this afternoon I set to work putting my book into 200 words.
I found this pretty tricky. I don’t know how much to reveal and how much to keep as vague hints about the contents of my book. The pitch that I ended up with below errs more on the vague side and I am curious of opinions. Better to give more actual details? Did I put you to sleep with not enough action and too many esoteric thoughts? Online advice was pretty slim and ranged across the board in suggestions, so I turn to you instead, my sweet little online audience. I welcome any thoughts, emailed, texted, commented, whatever. I’m not fishing for compliments, so real thoughts expressed kindly, please! Writing a pitch feels harder than writing a book! Help!

CAUTION: Before you read the revelation of my book soul, please know that the characters and experiences therein are fictional!

Attempt Numero Uno at a Pitch (And, a transforming work in progress!):
Six Weeks

At first it began as just a drop. One smooth drop of red blood running down her pale thigh. She felt the moisture with her fingers and looked down to see the bright crimson stain emerging on the back edge of her linen skirt. She felt an immediate wave of horror followed by, to her shock, relief.  

Losing the baby was symbolic of something greater, of letting go of a flailing dream of happiness, a jolt back to reality that something needed to change. Instead of allowing their discontent to fester, Kristen and Jake decide to say “Fuck it all” to their meaningless jobs and sell their house to embark on individual journeys of self-discovery. Both aware of the ambiguity of this mission, as well as the risks to their marriage, the late twenty-somethings find themselves in Europe, experiencing parallel adventures that may or may not bring them back together. Intent that there must be something better, they forsake the predictable for the unknown, trusting in themselves to manifest their own destinies on the other side of the world.
***

For some reason, that still feels off to me. Like maybe I need to give more actual pieces of what happens in the book? Or, better yet, maybe I should re-read it when I have not just spent ten hours at school!
Welcome to my brain.
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