Author Archives: olivia

Jan 03 2012
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Writing

I wrote a book! A book, I tell you!

I just finished the first draft of my first book!  Those firsts are important, I have a lot of editing, revising, and augmenting to do, but it’s still a pretty darn cool feeling to have a complete story at my finger tips!  Calling it my first book is also key, because regardless of what happens to this one, I’m determined that it will not be my last attempt.

So, blog world, here is my new goal:  An edited, revised, and slightly longer version ready for marketing by summer 2012!

Btw, do you know any book agents?

Just thought I’d ask.  ðŸ˜‰

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Jan 01 2012
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Life

So what if you don’t keep your New Year’s resolutions!

People always grumble about New Year’s resolutions. They complain about how they never keep them, so why make them…

I disagree.

Making my New Year’s resolutions is a yearly ritual. Thanks in large part to my dad, I have sat down every year since I was a kid to make my resolutions. For the past few years, I’ve called them “Envisioned,” instead of resolutions. For example, last year was “2011 Envisioned.” The simple act of calling my resolutions “Envisioned” has helped me to refocus my intentions on what I want my year to look like instead of how I want to change myself. Of course, those traditional little resolutions related to change still sneak themselves in there, but the big goal of sitting down and looking forward is to actually ask myself what I want in life. That’s a pretty exciting and important question!

Last week, I dug up my resolutions for the past few years and reread them. Even though I may not have successfully given up sugar or gone to the gym religiously, it was really exciting to be able to look back five years and see that overall I’ve moved my life in a direction that I already foresaw back then. It’s strange to revisit your past self and realize that you really are the same person! That may sound odd, but a lot of times, I think we see our current self as so different and evolved from our previous versions, when really, we are our past, present, and future self simultaneously.

Okay, okay, I’m getting a little metaphysical, I know, but this is a concept that fascinates me.  At any rate, going through my previous resolutions reminded me that I really am, to some degree, controlling my destiny through envisioning what I want my life to look like each year. I also noticed that I break my goals into common themes each year, whether I made my resolutions in a journal, as a collage, or on a gigantic piece of watercolor canvas.  These themes include:  Health, Family, Finance, Career, and (Intentional) Joy. Even the goals that changed because life changed are interesting to go back and reread. Remembering these changes reminds me of different points in my life that I may have forgotten without these road maps. Most exciting, is seeing the goals that are many years old finally coming to fruition, (finding a job I like, writing a book, traveling, etc.).

I think that New Year’s Day is becoming one of my favorite holidays as an adult! I am genuinely excited to sit down today and envision 2012. If you have made it through my rambling thoughts above, I invite you to join me today in envisioning your life in 2012.  Stop worrying about whether you’ll keep your resolutions and just make them. What do you want your life to look like this year? What do you need to do to make this happen? Dream big, you might surprise yourself.

Over the years, my resolutions have taken on a variety of different mediums.
Regardless of the medium, I have always broken up my resolutions into categories.
This was one of my favorite years to look back at; I made it during college and through my travels since then I have always thought back to this collage and spotted the scenes that mimic what I envisioned.  The most memorable was when Alex and I moved to Berkeley and found an old church up the hill from our apartment that looked exactly like the picture third down from the upper right-hand corner.  I believe that we do create at least some of our reality, so use this time to create one that you’re excited about!
“To see is to create!”
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Dec 27 2011
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Writing

40,082 Words!

I met my goal for the new year!  Well, my revised goal… Tonight I surpassed 40,000 words!  I’m going to do this– I’m going to finish a book!  Whether or not it is any good, that’s a whole other issue, but, not my current concern!

Only 10,000 to 20,000 more words to go!

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Dec 20 2011
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Writing

31,128 words…

I just hit 31,128 words, which means that I’m more than half way through my book!  Realistically, I expect my finished product to be somewhere around 60,000 words or 200-240 pages.  The more I write, the more I am becoming fascinated with how writing changes the way that I see the world around me.  
Lately, sitting in crowded rooms has left me quietly observing, listening, thinking of how I would describe the scene and people around me with words.  Reading books and watching movies has left me taking notes about how story tellers cut scenes and purposely leave things out.  Looking at pictures and listening to songs have in turn given me unexpected inspiration, helping me to fill in dead ends and set the tone.  It is funny how ideas surround us if we stop to look and listen.
It’s fun to find our passions, I think that I’ve found one of mine, (regardless of how it works out).
On a less-related note, here are three pictures that I want to share of my December so far:
Reluctant Friends

Modern Solitude

Candy Land!
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Dec 13 2011
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Life

Young Adult

Do you remember the girl that you hated in school?  The one with the clone worshippers that liked her even though she was blatantly mean to everyone?

If you were like me, you probably spent your high school days fantasizing about what that girl was going to end up like in her late thirties.  I’ll spare you the tasteless details of how I imagined my high school nemesis to turn out, but trust me, it was not pretty.  I, on the other hand, imagined myself to be a sophisticated world traveler, educated, poised, wealthy.  Always wearing heels and a dress from Anthropologie. Funny what we think will matter most.
This weekend I saw the movie Young Adult with Charlize Theron and was reminded of these teenaged fantasies.  The movie was funny, dark, and unbearable at moments.  I left hating it, even if it made me laugh.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was the moment that all underdogs wait for– the chance to see the villain suffer.
The irony to me, is that I wanted the villain to change, to grow, to improve and to become likeable.  Instead of wanting to watch her fail, I desperately wanted to watch her change.  The suffering was not rewarding, it was depressing.  I realized that I would much rather discover that my nemesis had changed and become her friend.  What a departure from my 17 year-old self!
I was also shocked to see little pieces of myself in her, remembering moments that I had been shallow or unkind in life and laughing uncomfortably at some of her adult tastes and habits, (umm, pretty sure I own the same pair of sunglasses, have a pomeranian, and have been known to glue myself to “reality” television).  Granted, these moments paled in comparison to this villain, but there is a certain shame in seeing the villain in yourself, as well as a certain introspection in seeing the mirror reflected back at you.

It made me laugh how she so adamantly opposed the idea of a life in her home town, set on the idea that the city would make her happier, cooler, more important.  Been there, done that, (and returned home again).  It also made me think about how much my vision of adult life has changed from the age of 17 to now.  I would have never fantasized about being an elementary school teacher, married, living in Sacramento.  But, now, here am I, consciously embracing all of those things.  Life is funny.

So, even though it was dark, a little over the top, and at times painful to watch, I change my review.  I liked Young Adult.  It made me think, a lot.  
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Dec 06 2011
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Teaching

Jackets and Other Fun Things

Trying to write a book is zapping my energy to blog.

That aside, there are a couple of things that I want to celebrate.

First, I recently noticed that a handful of my students still do not have warm winter jackets.  This was very saddening to me, (even more so than all of the challenging life stories that I hear everyday, funny where the line is for each of us).  I shared my frustration with friends and family and received a huge response from people willing to help me find jackets for my students.  My dad even went to Target at 10:00 at  night just to buy a jacket for one of my students, (and showed up the very next morning to deliver it!).  As much as I was saddened to think of my students cold, I was really inspired by how many people in my life care enough to change this.

Second, I worked 52 hours last week!  This is a celebration because I had been working 60!  I am cutting myself off at 5PM, (7AM to 5PM), and forcing myself to spend only a couple of hours planning on the weekend.  It feels better, even if there may at times be a mess on my desk.  My goal is to keep this new trend up.  Eventually I want to join the 4:30 club, but I’m not there yet.  And, yes, there really is a 4:30 club among some of the teachers at my school!  But, that’s a good thing.  I’m feeling like the quality of my teaching is going up with the decrease in quantity of work, as I’m more patient and mentally prepared to deal with everything that comes my way.

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Nov 30 2011
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Writing

22,222 words

I hit 22,222 words this evening.  Not bad for a month where I still worked pretty darn hard doing my day job.  My goal is now a whole book by 1/1/12, (or at least a whole draft).  Maybe I’ll actually get to cross something cool off of my New Year’s resolutions for 2011!

At some point in my life, it is now my goal to be a full-time writer, (and not one that writes economic reports…been there, done that!).  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

It’s fun to dream and even more fun to take real steps toward achieving that dream.

Thank you for the inspiration nanowrimo.

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Nov 26 2011
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Life, Teaching

Perspective

This morning I woke up excited to go back to school on Monday.  Instead of a dream where nothing was going right in my classroom, I dreamed that I had a fabulous day where everything was coming together and I felt like an effective teacher.  Dreams are very powerful in setting the tone during my waking hours.  Now, I am sitting here re-energized to go back to school, excited to see my students, eager to try some new tricks and to be consistent with my old ones.

It sure beats the dreams I have where everything is going wrong and I wake up a stress-case!  It’s funny too, just yesterday I was telling a friend how the end of breaks are always so hard for me, how I start to stress about time slipping away from me, about how quickly I’ll be back absorbed in the challenges of my classroom.  However, with a shift in perspective brought on by a restful week and an encouraging dream, I’m now sitting here excited to go back.

Realizing how easily my perspective can shift from a stressful one to an excited one causes me to wonder whether there is an easy trick for always remembering to reframe my thinking.  I feel like it is trickier than it sounds, but I also think it is funny how often something seemingly little can help me change how I see things.  In this case, I’d like to find a way to always remember to step back and look at my job as an exciting and rewarding challenge when I start to become stressed, overwhelmed, or nervous.  I’m determined that it is possible.  If you have any tricks, I’d love to hear them.

So, happy Saturday.  I am determined not to look at today as two days before I have to go back to work or as “Oh no, time is running out.”  Instead, I am determined to embrace today as its own, completely independent entity full of events and activities that I have been looking forward to, as well as a chance to get caught up on little tasks before everything gets busy again.  May you have an equally enjoyable and productive day and remember that how you look at everything around you matters too.

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Nov 20 2011
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Writing

Abandoned Blogs

When I started blogging back in July, I had trouble finding a blog url that was not taken.  I eventually settled on a truncated version of today is the best day of my life, todaybestlife.  Adequate, but not my first choice, it reminds me more of a segment on Good Morning America than the place where I keep my musings on life.

Tempted to find myself a different url, I tried typing in some of the prefixes that I like and discovered a veritable graveyard of abandoned blogs.  I find this irritating to discover that so many good blog names are wasted, but also fascinating, like stumbling across forgotten time capsules.  The first one I tried had been abandoned for nearly ten years!  I did not even know what a blog was in 2002.  I was a senior in high school.

http://luckylife.blogspot.com/

Amused, I tried two more, which also proved abandoned.  It makes me wonder how many are out there.  Millions, I suspect.  I invite you to try your own favorite prefixes and see what you get.  I was hoping to stumble across like-minded blogs that maybe I’d like to follow.  Instead, I found abandoned blog after abandoned blog, reminding me of how often we start projects and quickly lose interest.

This one was actually the most interesting to me:

http://luckyday.blogspot.com/

Someone started a luckiness experiment involving a crucifix and disappeared from the blog world after merely four days.  Outcome unlucky, perhaps?  I know, I know, my insinuation is creepy and unwarranted, I apologize.

At any rate, peeking into other people’s abandoned blog projects is an interesting reflection on human nature and life in general.  May we all find projects that keep us happy and engaged!

Happy Sunday!

PS.  I think this is becoming an obsession, almost every blog prefix I try is abandoned…

olivia.blogspot.com
(my last name).blogspot.com (trying to protect my identity a little bit 😉
oliviaelizabeth.blogspot.com
wanderlust.blogspot.com
happylife.blogspot.com
happynow.blogspot.com
luckyheart.blogspot.com
The
List
Goes
On
And
On

So far, of all the prefixes I’ve tried, only one has led to an active blog.  Maybe dead blogs should have a shelf life and then be thrown out so that others may claim their names?!

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Nov 17 2011
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Life

Fall Colors

Yesterday I remembered why fall is my favorite season.  Driving home from work at dusk, the sun shone through the brilliant oranges, reds, and yellows of the leaves on the trees.  The green belt behind my school is alive with color.  In fact, it’s hardly green at all right now!  Today I was determined to capture its magnificence in a photograph but missed my window, leaving just a few minutes too late to capture the light.  It is so easy to forget to stop and look at the beauty around us, even in as unlikely a place as an older suburban neighborhood in Sacramento.  This weekend I am determined to bask in all of fall’s blazing colors before they slip away into the messy piles of rotting leaves that December brings.

I think that is the hardest thing about life, if you do not consciously stop to appreciate something, it will slip away before you realize it.  I guess that is the truth to the saying in my family of this too shall pass.  I think that we should add to the end that this too shall pass, whether you like it or not.

I know that I have said it before, but sometimes I wish that I could put life on pause and just stop and take it all in.  Fleeting, but beautiful, but hard, but worth it.  I know that each passing experience leads to another that has its own worth.  I just want to remember to actually stop and appreciate what is around me before it is gone.  A worthwhile sentiment for a month focused on gratitude, I suppose.  

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Nov 09 2011
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Life

Ugly Face

This is probably going to sound really cliche, but today I was thinking about beauty and it really hit me that what makes someone memorably beautiful is not just how they look but who they are.  We all grow up hearing that true beauty is on the inside, and while I have always agreed, I have never stopped to think about what this means to me.

Like most women, I have spent too much time worrying about how I look, but I have never stopped to think about how who I am affects this perception.  The women that are most beautiful to me are the ones whose inner beauty shines.  Likewise, the men that are least attractive to me are the ones that have “ugly souls,” regardless of outer appearance.

As silly as it may sound, thinking about what I see as beauty in others is changing how I strive to cultivate beauty in myself.  I would much rather be remembered for my inner beauty than my outer appearance.  Moreover, it seems that the truer your inner beauty, the less you care at all about how others perceive you, inside or out.  I want to get there.  I’m trying to get there, but I still find myself critical of my outward appearance in most pictures that cross my path.

Maybe the first step to letting go of the importance of how people perceive you is by broadcasting to the world your ugliest face?

An old friend of mine recently began doing temporary street installations in LA called Ugly Face, where she projects “ugly” faces onto the walls of buildings in public spaces (http://uglyfacewednesdays.tumblr.com/).  I admire her for challenging our cultural obsession with outer beauty.  Seeing her facebook posts tonight got me thinking about all of this.  So in honor of an old friend, here is my ugly face.  I will admit, it took effort to try and not find a way to be cute while being ugly.  I found myself trying to pick the cutest of my ugly faces, which made me realize that I wasn’t doing it right.

So here are my ugliest.  Stephanie you have my permission to have my ugly faces.  Thanks for reminding me to laugh at myself and not take how others might perceive me so seriously.  You rock.

Yes, I’m still wearing my jacket and scarf as I blog on my couch.  I may be too tired to change clothes, my initial excuse was that it was cold when I got home, but the heater has been on for an hour and I haven’t moved…

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Nov 05 2011
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Writing

5,827 words…

Wow.  I wish I had more time to write.  This week has forced out more writing than my six weeks of summer vacation.  I really think that the difference is writing without looking back instead of losing my energy worrying about word choice and reviewing each small piece over and over.  Maybe the writing is better that way, but it does not matter if it keeps me from ever finishing.  I’m excited that I’m actually making slow but steady progress forward.

Since I know that you’re enthralled by my progress, you can track me here:

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/todaybestlife

If nothing else, holding myself publicly accountable is just one more step toward finishing a whole book.  I may not make it to 50,000 words in a month, but if I make it to 30,000 words, I’ll be more than pleased!

Happy Saturday!

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