This morning I woke up feeling vulnerable.
Putting myself out there on my blog sometimes makes me feel like I’m overexposed. I told you, I’m an introvert at heart.
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
I started blogging because I wanted space to write and hold myself accountable for writing, but it has grown into much more. It is now a space that I think through my life, my writing, my challenges as a teacher. It is a place where I make new connections with like-minded people and strengthen old connections with those I wish I saw more. It is a way to put myself out there and build a platform in anticipation of publishing my work.
In other words, blogging is increasingly significant to my life. But, as a result, I also feel increasingly self-aware. When I share my posts on Facebook, I question myself, wondering whether I’m driving people in my life crazy– “We get it, you have a blog!” I imagine people thinking. Yet most of my clicks come from sharing my posts on my other social platforms. Likewise, I’ve been convinced that creating a following is necessary to success as an author.
I know that there will always be voices of self-doubt. In general, I try not to listen. I just also wonder if other people feel the same way. Do you ever feel silly about blogging? Self-absorbed? Self-important? I’m not saying that blogging is any of these things, it just feels this way for me sometimes, maybe because I have a slightly obsessive personality.
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us… It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Even if I full-heartedly agree, it is a hard lesson. It’s hard to put ourselves out there and not be afraid of our own greatness. I hate to admit that sometimes I don’t feel that brave. I really liked this commencement speech that I watched last night. It reminded me that when all else fails, pretend to know what you’re doing…