Category Archives: Life

Jan 15 2013
4 Comments
Family, Life, Teaching

Right Action & Overwhelming Goodness

My sister orchestrated a coat drive at her school over the holidays to benefit my students. I didn’t ask her to, it was part of her “right action” project. On Sunday night, two huge bins of jackets were loaded into the back of my car. Each included a carefully drawn flyer reminding others of the importance of right action. I felt mighty proud of my kid sister.

Yesterday, I got a thank you letter in the mail to give to our student council. Our food drive, organized by the kids in December, contributed nearly 2,000 meals. The first load alone weighed more than 300 lbs.

Today a parent set up a schedule to work in my classroom. She plans to spend an hour in my room four days a week working with a student who is special to her, my very own Maniac Magee. Her husband is scheduled to volunteer a couple days a week too, on his days off. They do not even have a kid in my class. They also spend significant time at my school in other rooms, art and their own children’s. They are just that kind.

Last week, a good friend came in on her hard-earned day off to talk to my class about being a journalist and going to grad school. This month my dad plans to volunteer as well. My mom sent healthy snacks for the kids in December and was so excited by their gratitude she just ordered more…

Sometimes when my job feels like a lot to carry, I am blown away by how others are willing to share the load. I am most humbled when this help comes out of nowhere. Just when it seems like I could not possibly ask for anything more, someone else reaches out and makes a difference, reinvigorating my dedication to my work and my faith in people.

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Jan 13 2013
12 Comments
Life, Writing

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award: The Golden Writing Ticket!

Okay, I must admit, I felt a little like a child waiting for 9:01 to roll around this evening. I was determined to make sure my Amazon Breakthrough Novel submission was counted as one of the first 10,000. No idea how long it takes for that number to be hit, but I have to say it took an awful long time for my browser to load Create Space… As I waited, I felt like one of those kids hoping for a tour of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

The good news, my submission is now complete! After a weekend of pretty much non-stop editing, I think I have earned a complete week off Expecting Happiness. Zero novel work will be done, which actually feels like a treat, (odd, I know, since I like writing, but the editing part isn’t my favorite).

What do I plan to do with all this time off, you ask? Sleep, yoga, weekend getaway with my mom. Read someone else’s book, perhaps? I feel like I’m on vacation even though I have to wake up for work tomorrow morning…

And, to top it all off, I have this lovely song stuck in my head. Fun for five minutes, annoying every second after. Wishing you good luck if you’re searching for that same golden ticket!

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Jan 11 2013
5 Comments
Life, Teaching

Week 19: Calm & Peace

The completion of week 19 feels momentous. 40 weeks in a school year. Practically half way done. In a blink, fifth grade will be over and I’ll be starting again with a room full of fourth graders.

Week 19 is 2013. As one apologetic behavior letter from a student reminded me, it’s a fresh start. It’s the frozen activities field beneath a thin blanket of fog and the backdrop of a rising sun, that one forgotten soccer ball settling into the icy mud. It’s smiling faces and getting called Mrs. Mac by that one kid who never opened up until now… Mrs. Mac, a softer, truncated nickname filled with more love than I can communicate.

It’s four kids receiving random acts of kindness, confused hugs for the extra attention. It’s my principal walking in to observe in the first hour on the first day back at school and me smiling unapologetically at the imperfection in my room, pure embrace of sleepy kids and calm.

It’s book reports that have blown me away. The girl with the purple guitar. The boy whose name should be Maniac Magee, who pretended to be the protagonist in Spiderwick Chronicles, much to the delight of all the other kids. Fifteen minutes of wild impersonation, jokes, energy, charisma. A cheer he taught the class, tugging on both ears, “Boggarts, boggarts, boggarts!” His joy in success and fame.

It’s also the intervention teacher’s compliment that I seemed so at peace watching his sometimes frenetic performance, a room of 29 other kids just seconds from bouncing off the walls. That edge where control could be lost, me more calm and centered than ever before. A friend who visited just in time to walk through all the other classrooms and take a peak at all the book report creations, recognizing the strength in my patience, sharing her grad school stories with my kids.

Week 19 gives me hope. Hope I can be calm almost all the time. Hope all this yoga and meditation are paying off. Hope I have found a sweet spot in my love and knowledge of my students. Week 19 is peace.

Peace

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Jan 08 2013
8 Comments
Life, Teaching

The Girl With the Purple Guitar

Today I have to share one of my favorite moments of my teaching career so far. As a creative alternative to our book report over break, one student asked if she could learn a song from Hunger Games to play for the class. I agreed and she did a beautiful job connecting the lyrics of the song to her reading.

This morning her mom showed up with her guitar in a big box. We weren’t going to present today, but since her guitar was already in class, I let her go as the first and only student for the day. Late in the afternoon, when students are usually too wiggly to sit still, we gathered on the carpet and she pulled out her pretty little purple guitar.

A bundle of nerves, she asked if we could close our eyes. With the sweetest ten-year old voice, she sang Taylor Swift’s “Eyes Open” as she strummed along. The whole class covered their eyes and swayed back and forth, mesmerized. In the middle, she messed up and asked to start over. This time she told everyone they could uncover their eyes. She played the song again, beautifully, with 30 pairs of eyes on her. When she finished, the room erupted in cheers.

It was one of those moments I wish I had on film. So sweet and filled with emotion. I wanted to cry as I watched her. She was so nervous, but she forced herself to be brave and do it anyway. It took at least five years for me to let Alex hear me sing. She sang to a room of ten and eleven year-olds with a presence, grace, and soul uncommon in most adult performers.

I guess you can say I’m glad to be back to work with my students. It always takes a couple days, but I get there.

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Jan 07 2013
4 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Pets, Teaching

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It’s Back to Work I Go!

I know as a teacher I should be the last person to complain to go back to work. I get breaks and I mostly like my job. Not such a bad life. Still, each time a break comes to a close, I go through a brief funk. It’s hard to let go of the time to write, to do yoga, to sleep, to see friends and family… It requires a shift in my brain to my other self.

Today I went back to work, the kids follow tomorrow. This evening I continued my longest consecutive string of yoga ever. I have been doing yoga everyday for a couple weeks and I am finally beginning to see why instructors encourage this– I feel amazing and am able to do more than I ever have been in the past, (even when I was doing 3-4 days of yoga/week). I share this now in hopes it helps to keep me dedicated. A little reminder to my future self.

I could never bring myself to invest the time or money to go to a yoga studio daily, (especially since most classes are 90 minutes and just getting there/home adds another 30 minutes to my day). However, I recently discovered that watching yoga on Hulu Plus is actually pretty productive, (even if the ads and cheese factor can be annoying). It is the missing piece I needed to break up my studio visits and a nice change of pace from the routines in books.

Coming home to yoga this evening, I realized there really are ways to make life feel more balanced and better after work. Now it’s time for a little tech-free quiet as the last ingredient to my evening… Tomorrow, kiddos, day one of my peace project, and some more yoga!

Student #8 has a happy note waiting on her desk for her day as my secret student.

Student #8 has a happy note waiting on her desk for her day as my secret student.

My room is ready for a new year and 30 happy kiddos.

My room is ready for a new year and 30 energetic kiddos.

And, you get to see my cat play with a toy whale because she's cute...

And, you get to see my cat play with a toy whale because she’s cute and we know she loves yoga too… yes, still.

Happy balanced Monday!

Happy balanced Monday!

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Jan 06 2013
3 Comments
Home, Life, Writing

A New Year, A New Home Office

Finishing our home office has been a three year process. Much of my writing used to take place with my laptop on the couch because it was a more pleasant place to sit. However, with some minor design changes and some new wall art, we now type at our own desks, back to back. Best of all, the division of space means the living room is no longer a computing zone, restoring a bit of balance to our household.

And, this huge picture of Paris reminded me that even if you don’t like your view out the window, you can always buy one that does the trick. Not a bad place to stare as I fix my chapters that take place in Paris…

Do you have an inviting space set aside for just writing?

IKEA $49 huge wall art = amazing.

IKEA $49 huge wall art = an awesome new window.

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Jan 05 2013
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Family, Life, Travel, Writing

Blog Birth Announcement: Patrick O’Bryon

It’s tradition around here to welcome new blogs with open arms. Tonight I want to share the blog of someone I hold near and dear to my heart, my uncle, Patrick O’Bryon.

Uncle Pat, as I know him, is a writer too. He recently finished his first novel, Corridor of Darkness, a book inspired by his father’s, (my grandfather’s), adventures in Nazi Germany. He is also an avid traveler and plans to post stories of his own adventures, as well as trip ideas for your next escape to Europe.

If you like my blog, (which I hope you do if you’re reading this post), I bet you’ll like his too. Show him a little love and go check it out!

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Jan 04 2013
12 Comments
Family, Health, Home, Life, Teaching

Don’t Have Children.

That’s what a woman at Costco said to me today. It was one of those lines that stick with you for the rest of the afternoon. Not because I plan to listen to her. Heck, I surround myself with 30 kids five days a week. I like them.

But, I also wonder how it will be different when they are my own. Right now I know 15 pregnant women. Of course, Facebook helps increase this total, but at least 6 of them I see regularly. Babies are everywhere I look. I guess that’s what happens when you’re almost 30. Eventually it will be my turn too, life willing.

This particular woman had two little ones under the age of 3. One in her cart, the other in grandma’s. “Please don’t touch the flowers, please don’t touch the flowers, STOP IT!!!” She lost her cool. As she shouted at the youngest, I realized what I must sound like when I lose my self-control at work. It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally I get really frustrated too. She turned to me, after aisles and aisles of keeping the same pace, and told me not to have children.

I felt for this poor woman. I could tell she was tightly wound and looking for perfection. A lot like me some of the time. I knew exactly what she felt like without even being a mom. I could imagine all the pressure. I could feel her stress in trying to maintain control. I could even see the exhaustion on her face.

I suppose in the beginning most parents have moments where they might say something similar to a perfect stranger, I just like to think I never will. I guess I have to actually have kids first to figure that out. Until then, I’m going to keep working on remaining calm in my classroom. I’m grateful to that woman for the reminder of what it looks like from the outside. I hope she finds some calm this weekend too.

Proof I'm not always rainbows and gingerbread houses either... But, at least I have a sense of humor about it!

Proof I’m not always rainbows and gingerbread houses either… At least I have a sense of humor about it.

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Jan 04 2013
3 Comments
Dogs, Family, Home, Life, Pets, Teaching, Writing

I Get Lost in My Mind

This morning I awoke earlier than usual to my dog convulsing at the edge of my bed. Worried he might vomit, I shooed him straight out the door to the backyard. Then I realized he could hardly walk. He was shaking. He could not breathe. I scooped him in my arms and wrapped him in a blanket. I held him on the couch until his breath steadied and his body was still.

I was afraid he was going to die. I breathed and whispered sweet words to him. I reminded myself of my childhood dog and her seizures. I convinced myself it was those stupid flea pills. He let me hold him for an eternity, then shook it off, ate breakfast, and went back to sleep.

The last couple days I have been lost in my mind. Yesterday, I wrote almost the entire day. I finished part of an essay to prove to the state of California that I deserve a clear teaching credential, (as if my survival through a grueling residency program and my first year on my own were not enough). I poured two or more hours back into my pitch, sculpting word by word.

When I write, I often disappear from everything else. I get sucked so deep into my mind that the day disappears into darkness. Sometimes I forget to eat. Last night I forced myself to take a break to do yoga. Pandora playing in the background, I wrote down the name of this song. This morning, after Simon was tucked back into my spot in bed, I sat and listened. Then I cried. I get so lost in my mind. I’m grateful to be awake.

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Jan 02 2013
3 Comments
Life, Teaching, Writing

Hugs & The Incredible Shrinking Book

I’m down 4,000 words and not even half way through my revision. My inclination is to say yikes. Instead, I’m trying to embrace it. Words cut for the greater good of the book. Maybe I’ll put better ones back in…

I think that’s this month’s theme, embrace.

So many things in life we want to avoid or change, when really we need to embrace the lesson in each uncomfortable experience before we can move on. Isn’t that what they say in yoga all the time? Embrace instead of struggle?

With that logic, I need to embrace cutting words. I need to embrace teaching as a wonderful challenge. I need to embrace the limited time in a day and what this means for balance…

Seems simple enough, right?

At least it’s a one word reminder, embrace. And, it makes me think of hugs, which are nice too. Hug everything in life that’s challenging. I like that.

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Jan 01 2013
9 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Writing

2013 Envisioned: Health, Wealth & Happiness

Wow, New Year’s Day must be the busiest blog day of the year. Seriously, so many resolutions (and anti-resolutions) in my feed!

Instead of traditional resolutions, I like to envision what each new year will look like. As I wrote last year, it’s pretty amazing to look back and see what I managed to create. Just a few years back, I hoped to leave my world of economic analysis to teach and write, which reminds me of the power we hold in creating the life we want, (even when the outcomes take a little patience and a lot of hard work).

Here are a few highlights for my 2013 envisioned– instead of looking for things to change, I ask myself what I want this year to look like:

Health: Keep on keeping on… The last few months have transformed my perception of our power to heal. Yoga, meditation, body work, nutrition, herbs are all part of the 2013 I see for myself. In fact, health might be one of my most exciting paths ahead.

Wealth: While writing may not pay me any money yet, it is part of my long-term goal for supplementary income. I envision 2013 as the year I share my first book with the world so I can move on to something new. If I do not put it out there, I will just keep working on it (forever). So, here it goes– I will be brave enough to share my book, even if it means self-publishing later in the year. Regardless of whether it yields $5 or $500, it’s a step in the right direction, (and I know at least my husband and my family will buy it, so we’re talking an easy $5 right there!).

Happiness: Only recently have I started to reach a balance between work and life that feels sustainable. I see 2013 as a continuation of this, with less time spent typing away in the evening after work and more time feeling calm. I tried to do it all. Then something happened around October and I stopped and everything felt better, (even if a little part of me felt less productive). Teaching, writing, and life need their own space.

Of course, there are plenty of other things I see for this year– but you get the summary instead of the nitty gritty.

Now it’s your turn. Have you stopped to ask yourself what you want 2013 to look like? And, no, I don’t mean resolutions, I mean really mapping out a vision of the year ahead. Where will you live, travel, work? How will you spend your time? I have notebooks full of these visions, and, more often than not, they come to be.

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Dec 31 2012
2 Comments
Life, Teaching

Bloggers for Peace: Daily Acts of Kindness

One of my favorite bloggers, Kozo over at Everyday Gurus, recently started a group called Bloggers for Peace. The first challenge, pick a daily or weekly act of kindness for January and blog about it. I knew instantly what I needed to do.

All kids need love and special attention, but the reality is that in a room full of 30 students, some receive more than others. For my daily act of kindness, I am going to pick a different kid each day to go out of my way to make feel special. An instructional coach suggested I do this with my most behaviorally challenging kids, but I want to take it a step further and include all my students. Even the most outspoken could use a little extra love, and it has always bothered me that the quietest students go less noticed, especially if they do not act out or struggle academically.

So, each day in January, I will pick one student to quietly receive my attention. At a minimum, I will:

1. Write him/her a kind note, (this may be small, but I often notice that students keep my little notes in their pencil boxes or taped to the corner of their desks for months).

2. I ask students I see before school, “What is one good thing about today?” I will ask my student of the day this question because it forces students to be grateful and see their lives through a different lens. Often they shrug when I ask this question, but then we talk and they end up smiling as they realize they ate breakfast, hugged their dad goodbye, or have a nice warm place to come to school. One of my students now runs up to me every morning to tell me his one good thing. I want to make sure every student in my class reflects on this question at least once and gets more one-on-one conversation/attention for the day.

So, there you have it. 30 students means my little acts of kindness will carry me through to February, but it is a worthy cause and one I have been wanting to pursue for months. I already have a husky of the day who gets to help out, but I like that this will be a quieter, unexpected source of kindness. We go back to school January 8, so I will start with student number 8 and work my way through.

Hope you join Bloggers for Peace and find your own way to do something kind in January! I’ll report back on how my little experiment turns out.

Proof I won't forget. Post-it on my work laptop.

Proof I won’t forget. Post-it on my work laptop.

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