Category Archives: Life

Dec 08 2012
Leave a comment
Life, Teaching

Teaching: An End to Week 16

Here is a little secret about teachers, or at least the ones I know. We number the school weeks from 1 to 40 as we plan. Week 16 just ended, reminding me we are almost halfway done. Still so much to learn. All those fractions, to decimals, to percents driving my kids crazy. Winter break just two weeks off. Gingerbread houses dangling over their heads like the promise of Santa watching to reward those who are naughty and those who are nice.

When I think of all the weeks I have already survived, I see a bumpy road of highs and lows. This week, thank goodness, was a high. My students worked hard, behavior was good. Only one student went to the office. Consistent behavior management is paying off, even if sometimes it feels painful. I get it though. When you let things slip, each slip gains momentum until suddenly you find yourself in the middle of disaster. Better to be consistently firm.

Week 16 was bittersweet. One of my students rapped in front of the school on Friday for our weekly Town Hall, telling the students “We don’t be rude, we be polite,” teaching assertiveness with four hundred little pairs of hands waving along with him. Still, his friend sat in the bleachers sulking because he lost his chance on the mic. Consistency is hard sometimes, even if it means you care enough about someone to recognize the long-term benefit.

It is strange how two years with the same kids makes you care about them so deeply. I know it goes both ways. They often call me Mom by mistake, the familiarity sometimes confusing when they’re not paying attention. I always respond in a syrupy voice, “Yes, darling?” Then we laugh. That’s the thing. When you spend more than six hours a day directly interacting in one small room, day in and day out, you really do become a family. Even my toughest kids, the ones who would never crack last year, can be made to smile in the middle of their fits.

So, as week 16 ends, I am reflective. I worked so hard to get this little motley crew to care about each other, and now they do, but soon enough they’ll be off to middle school and I’ll be left to start over again. I know this is teaching and I’m not sad exactly, just reflective. We have grown so much and I am grateful to be at a high point instead of a dip.

I leave you with my teaching team’s idea of a good joke. Our Napoleon Dynamite inspired snack day, a quesa-dila bar. Amazing how a little laughter at work makes the day better.

You're invited!

Teacher's Lounge

Tots

Quesadilla Bar

Tagged , , , , , ,
Dec 03 2012
7 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Teaching

Trees are still my friends.

It’s funny what stands out to us. Ever since I was a little girl, I always noticed trees. If there was a tree in our yard, I climbed as high as I could and sat and watched the world from above. I would push the palm of my hand against the tree’s bark and feel connected.

Moving from place to place, I often felt alone, but the trees were my friends. Even as a young teenager, I’d climb up the branches and find a spot to sit and write. Often I climbed too high, regretting my decision as I clung to the branches on my way down. I had tree houses, tree swings, tree benches in the sky. I loved trees. They told me things. Like it was okay that we cut them down as long as we were grateful and used them wisely.

When we moved into our first house a few years ago, I was in awe of all the old trees in our neighborhood. From any window in my house, I could sit and stare at their magnificent branches. It truly was my favorite feature of our established neighborhood, the glorious old trees that guarded our little home, their leaves changing colors in the fall then reappearing again to signal spring.

One of the things I have noticed about slowing down to be more present is the trees. They stand out again to me. Not that they ever disappeared, but now they have returned to play a role in my daily life. At home, the spot I do my yoga and seated meditation looks up at the magnificent branches of an old tree. An altar more meaningful to me than any I could create.

At school, the trees remind me to breathe and that life is beautiful, even on tough days. The trees where we line up outside my classroom, their leaves amazing shades of red and orange call to me daily that life is precious, giving me a moment’s rest even as little voices sneak a few words in my line. There are also a set of trees down an old corridor of our previously Catholic girls school that may be the most beautiful sight on earth. A sea of pale yellow leaves beneath white bark on an old brick walkway, stunning.

What reminds you to stop and be? For me, it’s obviously the trees.

Meet my yoga tree. Staring at it day-to-day, I feel calm and amazed how much changes overnight.

Meet my yoga tree. From the floor, this is what I see. Staring at it day-to-day, I feel calm and amazed by how much changes overnight.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Dec 01 2012
3 Comments
Life, Style

Start Something That Matters

I will put it out there. I love TOMS shoes. I have two pairs, I bought Alex a pair for Christmas, (he just doesn’t know which pair…), and I will continue to buy these shoes into the future. They are comfortable, versatile, stylish, and matter. The company has created a brand loyalty for me that is unmatched by anything else I own.

Maybe it's the good karma, maybe it's because they're cute, but days I wear my TOMS are good days.

Maybe it’s the good karma, maybe it’s because they’re cute, but days I wear my TOMS are good days.

For those of you who don’t know, TOMS gives a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair purchased. I have heard some criticism in the world of philanthropy that TOMS is not teaching anyone to fish, that it’s just giving out shoes as a capitalistic ploy to sell more overpriced shoes, that if people really cared they should just give the money directly to a cause instead of buying themselves a pair of shoes in the process.

I say, so what? If I am going to pay $40+ for a pair of shoes, I would rather a kid with bare feet receive a pair too. I’m going to spend the $40 either way. Shoes are something I prefer to buy new. It’s about time the fashion world be revolutionized. TOMS does this while also telling a story, a story about a guy who went to Argentina and returned with a dream to put shoes on the feet of needy kids. More than a million kids now have a pair of shoes because of his dream.

With Alex’s Christmas present came a bonus, Blake Mycoskie’s book about his entrepreneurial journey to found TOMS, Start Something That Matters. Easy to read, humorous, and inspiring, I recommend the book. I’d say buy it, but even better, buy a pair of TOMS online and get it for free this month, as well as a pair of shoes for a kid somewhere. I love success stories that combine entrepreneurism, passion, and a good cause.

A great read.

A great read.

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Nov 30 2012
12 Comments
Life, Teaching

Twenty-one girls, Nine boys…

My classroom is comprised of 21 girls and 9 boys. When I first saw the numbers, I thought, wow, this is going to be interesting. Either we are going to be the chattiest bunch on the planet or one big happy family. Turns out we’re both, including the group of nine boys that still manages to be heard, loud and clear.

I have a special spot in my heart for these boys. Seriously, they make me hope to have a son someday, keeping me on my toes with their wit and humor. However, they also make my job incredibly hard. Not that the girls don’t too, but my toughest boys, the very ones that make me want to be a mom, also give me the biggest run for my money, literally.

Today they also managed to make me smile, repeatedly. Instead of making me want to pull my hair out, they made me like my job. One of my most challenging even went the entire day without a single fuss, (a first, ever). Another told me I really ought to learn how not to let his behavior stress me out because stress is not good for my health, (which made me laugh, almost uncontrollably). Still another came to school proud he read the fifty pages he was behind in his reading. And, my favorite part, two sat with me through rainy day recess content to share the raps they were working on instead of joining their peers…

So, when 4:30 rolled around and I wanted to go home, I went and watched the fifth grade boys basketball game instead. Last year they asked me a thousand times and I never went, always dissuaded by the drive or the overwhelming feeling of being a first year teacher. Tonight, they waved to me across the gym and shouted my name as I walked by their huddle. I felt loved. Amazing how a little love can make all that other stuff melt away.

Tagged , ,
Nov 29 2012
7 Comments
Family, Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Writing

Becoming vs. Being

This evening after work, I sat on my kitchen counter and ate cranberry bread. It’s one of my bad habits. The counter, not the bread. While I ate my snack like a small child, two things caught my attention.

First, this note on my fridge. I wrote it a month or so ago in one of my more frustrated moments. Today, it made me realize that I am always trying to become something else. First I was a college kid wanting to become an adult, then an analyst hoping to become a teacher, and now a teacher wishing to become a novelist. It hit me, when I am I ever just going to be?

That’s when my eyes were drawn to my bookshelf that is messily filled with too many things. All those eclectic books and pictures are my life. Each title and each smiling face a different part of me. Another metaphor staring me in the face. A life that is already enough if I stop to pay attention.

Maybe bookshelves are the real windows to the soul…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop working toward that goal on the fridge, but I also need to recognize that even if I already were a full-time novelist, there would always be something else to become. If we don’t stop to be, life will pass us by…

Lately I have slowed things down, which means a more gradual approach to this becoming business. In some ways, this is hard because it feels like I am accomplishing a lot less. In others, it is allowing me to be the more balanced person I have already worked so hard to become.

Are you good at being? Tonight I am collecting secrets.

Tagged , ,
Nov 26 2012
6 Comments
Life, Pets, Teaching, Writing

I should be… But I’m not.

I should be working on NaNoWriMo, but instead I’m blogging. I think I might be a blog addict. There is something about the instant gratification of an audience. Plus, blogging allows me to write about the here and now, instead of the somewhere made up in my brain. Not that that place isn’t fun…

At least my students kicked some NaNoWriMo butt this year– read their stories this afternoon, amazing. Many of them wrote thousands of words. Talking dogs, romantic rendezvous, magical kingdoms…

So, here I am, typing away. I have only written half of what I wrote last year for NaNoWriMo. If I spent the time I worked on my blog writing that story, I would probably have at least double the words, if not more. But, it’s hard not to start here when I write each night. It’s like my warm-up space… Except now that I am only giving myself an hour each night to write, I don’t know how I am going to do both. My husband suggested scheduled blog nights, but I’m not sure I work like that. When I want to write, I want to write.

How do you balance your blogging versus other creative work? Do you start here, like I do? Or do you force yourself away?

Look at that, a fifteen minute post. I may actually have time for some other writing yet! Okay, I lied, now that I’ve reread it all and added pictures more like twenty-five minutes… Really leaving this time… I hope…

The upside of less writing time, I stuck to my yoga/spiritual practice goal this evening, (even though it ended up taking me almost two hours). And, here’s some proof yoga cat was not just a one-week aberration. In fact, she’s still in there right now. Didn’t take the hint when I rolled up the mat on top of her…

Tagged , , ,
Nov 25 2012
6 Comments
Health, Life

Sunday Song: Pain vs. Discomfort

Today my focus is on the difference between pain and discomfort. In yoga, most instructors will remind you that discomfort is a place to grow, pain is a place to stop. When we experience true pain, our bodies are telling us something needs to change. Discomfort, on the other hand, provides opportunities for us to become stronger as we explore this space. I have probably heard this at least a hundred times, but only this weekend has it started to make sense.

About two months ago I embarked on a journey to heal myself naturally. There is nothing horribly wrong with me, just a “condition” that results in what I have always considered to be reoccurring pain. The only thing doctors could offer me were pain killers, so, as soon as the discomfort began, I would medicate as not to disrupt my normal routines and to save myself from what I considered to be suffering.

What I discovered as I began my natural treatment was that true healing is hard work. I now understand why many people give up on natural remedies as the healing takes weeks, months, maybe even years of consistent effort. In addition to changing my diet, taking various flower essences, and drinking herbal teas, I have had to spend 30+ minutes a day, most days of the week, applying castor oil packs. Setting aside this time has been hard work. It has also been an extreme blessing because it has forced me to slow down my busy evenings.

Fast forward to today. As the familiar discomfort set into my body, I braced myself for pain. Last time, I refused pain killers, intent to fully feel what it was like before doing all the hard work to heal myself. This time, it is already different. I am uncomfortable, yes, but so far I have not experienced any real pain. Even if I soon eat my words, I will feel like I have made progress because I have created a space to grow within the discomfort. I have also come to recognize the difference between discomfort and pain, an amazingly powerful distinction in the mind.

I leave you with a Sunday Song about pain. Maybe not exactly the same kind of pain I wrote about, but a powerful song and a challenge presented by a family member to include in today’s blog entry. Ironically, it rather fits even though I forgot about the challenge until the end of this post. Love it when everything comes together, even imperfectly.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
Nov 24 2012
11 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Pets

Yoga Cat & Other Obstacles

Despite my best intentions, life has felt challenging lately. Even home yoga. I would like to introduce you to yoga cat. She is nothing like yoga dog, who stops by, stretches, wags his tail, and then moves on. Yoga cat likes to be in the way, the entire time. Every day since I decided to take my home yoga practice more seriously, she has been on my mat from start to finish. I have done locust poses at odd angles, tree balanced precariously over an outstretched cat, warrior with my hand a dangling invitation for her to take a good swat, and seated meditation with a purring ball of fur pressed against my legs.

Like many obstacles, she is part joyous distraction, part menace.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why not just move her? But, that’s the thing. First, she’s not an easy creature to move. My husband and I joke that she’s half ferrel. She does what she pleases unless you’re willing to risk an altercation. Second, I have tried to view her as an added challenge to clearing my mind and focusing inward. If I work hard enough, I can tune her out, even if every once in awhile I receive an unexpected slap of her paw or have to move some of my poses to the carpet.

Luna is perfectly in the way.

I actually think yoga cat is a good metaphor for life. Anything worth doing is going to have obstacles. You can either put in the work anyway or switch your attention elsewhere. I am pretty sure if I pulled out a different mat she would just follow me to a new location. I have to remind myself this as I push through obstacles in other parts of my life. Even if I switched directions, there would be something else. Thankfully, meditation, yoga, blogging, reading all help. And, doing yoga over a cat might just be part of the fun.

Tagged , , , , ,
Nov 23 2012
4 Comments
Family, Health, Home, Life

GMOs are everywhere, do you care?

In some ways, I’m sure my blog screams hippie. However, there are a lot of influences on me and I, like you, am a lot of things. I begin this way because I want you to give what I am saying a chance, no matter what your background.

Recently, I watched the film Genetic Roulette about the possible effects of GMOs on our bodies. Like any good skeptic, I am not willing to attribute every health problem we face to the increased GMOs in our diet, even if both rise side-by-side on a graph. Likewise, I have seen plenty of indie documentaries that have not convinced me of anything. However, there are points in this film that intuitively ring true, such as the idea that we should not be eating plants engineered to kill bugs, whose seeds cannot be handled without gloves, or that cause serious health issues in animals.

If you have the opportunity to watch the film or research GMOs on your own, I encourage you to do so. I was admittedly resistant to learning about GMOs because I figured I ate well enough already, but I have changed my tune. I share because I care.

Tagged , , ,
Nov 22 2012
4 Comments
Dogs, Family, Home, Life

Thankfulness Thursday: Thanksgiving

On this, the final Thankfulness Thursday, I decided to share my gratitude for the very day of Thanksgiving itself. While my mother’s family honors our Native American heritage, we do not boycott the day. Instead, we make it our own, embracing the positive aspects of giving thanks and coming together as a family to enjoy a meal and honor abundance. We celebrated on Tuesday, sharing a feast of GMO-free, organic food in Mt. Shasta, toasting Bodhichitta and watching the rain fall all day on a blanket of orange leaves.

Today I am grateful for two Thanksgivings, one in Mt. Shasta, one in Sacramento. Two families that are really one because they are both mine. Food, laughter, love. I am grateful. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

A happy, rainy Thanksgiving.

Full of many reminders for love and peace…

As well as the obligatory post-Turkey hangover.

Tagged , , , , ,
Nov 21 2012
14 Comments
Health, Life, Teaching

My New Experiment: Develop a Spiritual Practice

In the past few months, one question has resurfaced again and again. How can I sustain my current responsibilities without burning out? There are moments when I am able to transcend stress and remain amazingly calm. Then, there are other moments, when I cannot help but absorb the energy around me. Those days, I go home searching for peace. The answer I keep receiving, develop a spiritual practice to move into a more consistently balanced space.

Now, I get that the word spiritual can be a big turnoff for many. It is hard to separate the word from religious traditions that may not be our own. But, whether you’re agnostic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or even atheist, creating a spiritual practice can be beneficial and does not have to be about one path to God. Instead, it is about quieting the mind and connecting with what is important. This in itself is not new. I just did not know where to start, until I found two books at my mom’s house this week.

The first, Mindfulness Yoga inspired me to connect my yoga practice with Eastern philosophy and meditation. The second, The Spiritual Activist, focuses on helping activists of all faiths, including teachers, establish spiritual practices to sustain their social work. While Mindfulness Yoga is great for establishing home yoga routines and understanding the philosophical background of meditation, it is dense material. The Spiritual Activist, on the other hand, makes it easy to form a plan of action. Together they make an inspiring duo. Exactly what I was seeking.

My new plan, create a daily spiritual practice that interchanges yoga, meditation, walking, and reading. Even though I already do these things, the goal is to set aside a regular time each day to quiet my mind. At first I considered waking up earlier, but I read it is better not to alter your normal wake/sleep patterns because you are less likely to succeed in establishing new habits when your sleep cycle is changed. So, instead, I plan to begin each evening with silence and spiritual practice when I get home from work.

I know this will be a big experiment, especially since I have never meditated regularly, but I hope to monitor my progress and share whether or not it makes a difference in my stress levels, particularly in the most challenging moments while I teach. I do not expect it to work instant miracles, but I also am hopeful that it will help me access the calm that already exists inside me.

I leave you with one piece of wisdom, known as Bodhichitta. In order to achieve true good for ourselves, we must aim to achieve good for all beings. This is a big part of my calling as a teacher. I teach not only to fulfill myself, but also to make the lives of my students better, which in turn improves our community. So, what I do to make myself a more balanced teacher, I do not just for me, but for my students, and all beings.

If you’re open to sharing, do you have a daily spiritual practice? If so, what does it consist of for you? How has it benefited your life?

Tagged , , , ,
Nov 19 2012
11 Comments
Life, Style

Why I Love Audrey Hepburn

I have loved Audrey Hepburn since I was a little girl, before it was trendy to put her face on everything from coffee mugs to t-shirts. Growing up, she made me want to be an actress. There was something so gracefully beautiful about her. She floated across the screen, turning up in Rome, New York, London. I wanted to talk like her, to move like her, to dance through the streets of the world like her. She played intelligent, independent women. She talked back. She had charisma.

I think part of what drew me to her as a child was that she reminded me of my mother and grandmother. (Photo credit: Audrey Hepburn: A Life in Pictures)

My grandmother around the same era. I wish I had a picture of my mom to share, she looked even more like her.

Of course, those characters I fell in love with were not actually her, but something about the way she played those women made me believe she was all those things in real life too. Over the years, friends and family have given me all kinds of Audrey Hepburn books and memorabilia. In the accounts of her real life, she was everything I admired as a girl. She was also many of the things I admire as an adult. She aged gracefully. She did not disappear just because she got older. She gave the later part of her life to UNICEF to help disadvantaged children.

“For me, the only things of interest are those linked to the heart.” -Audrey Hepburn (Photo Credit: The Audrey Hepburn Treasures.)

Audrey aged beautifully, living out her passion for helping others. (Photo credit: Audrey Hepburn: A Life in Pictures)

Photo credit: Audrey Hepburn: A Life in Pictures

My celebrity crush is and always will be Audrey Hepburn. She is the one famous person I would want to meet for brunch. We would laugh and talk and she would call me darling and people would think we were related. I’d leave feeling glamorous and ready to tackle the world. Audrey inspires me to put on some skinny jeans, dance theatrically around my living room, buy a dog basket for my bike, and travel to every corner of the earth for pleasure and for charity.

Now, it’s your turn. Who is your celebrity crush? Or, if you don’t have one, what famous person would you want to meet for brunch?

“Sex appeal is something you feel deep inside. I can convey as much fully clothed, picking apples off a tree as standing in the rain.” -Audrey Hepburn (Credit: A Life in Pictures)

Tagged , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →