Category Archives: Life

Dec 30 2012
18 Comments
Dogs, Family, Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Travel, Writing

Good-Bye 2012, It’s Been Real.

So, it’s about that time.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Must post something about 2013. You know, resolutions or something.

To be fair, I DO love resolutions. One of my life goals is to spend every New Year’s Day at the ocean, reflecting. I decided awhile back that it’s a much better way to spend the new year than hung over on the couch.

Not sure I’ll make the ocean part happen this year, we’ll see.

But, before I can look forward, I have to look back.

2012.

Struggle and happiness, chaos and peace. Immense gratitude. I learned, a lot. I wrote, a lot. So much stuffed into 12 months. Do I have it all figured out? Not hardly. But, I feel better balanced than ever before. Happy, even. In the spirit of Thankfulness Thursdays, I leave you with my 2012 Gratitude List (and pictures dug out of this year’s blog).

Work:

I feel so fortunate to have a teaching job as a new-ish teacher in our current economy. This year was hard, but I became a better teacher one day at a time, and each day I feel a step closer to making this my lifelong work, instead of something I lovingly survive for the time being. So much gratitude.

.

2012’s valentines to my students, proof my heart is in the right place!

MacBook ad? More distractions from revisions...

And, can’t complain about my night job. It may not pay the bills (yet) but writing makes me happy.

Reading:

I was definitely an ADHD reader this year. Still have ten or so titles half finished on my dresser… The book I was most grateful to finish, hands down, Dear Sugar.

Sugar says...

Cheryl Strayed speaks to every human emotion in this book. So real, so touching. She writes with an unabashed openness I strive to emulate…

Music:

I’m thankful for the Lumineers’ soulful lyrics set to summer in the backyard with family, our car cruising down the coast, a sea of people at Golden Gate Park…

Places:

So much gratitude to live on such a beautiful planet and to have the means to see it even in a year that did not always feel easy.

Union Square at sunrise was not something I ever saw as a child.

San Francisco at sunrise

More gorgeous coast before snorkeling.

Magical Kauai

Goodbye sun.

Oregon Coast sunset

Mom’s Mt. Shasta

People:

More than anything else, I am grateful for the people in my life, friends, family, near and far… Oh yeah, and my dog too, he counts, right?

No greater gratitude than for the people in my life.

No greater gratitude than for the people in my life.

Health:

And, not to be forgotten, this was the year I discovered my own power in healing. So thankful.

Inspiration

Yoga, meditation… healing.

Other bloggers:

Even though I started blogging in 2011, my move to WordPress cemented my commitment to putting my words out there and becoming part of a greater community. I am truly grateful for all the connections I have made this year– words of wisdom from every corner of the globe, thank YOU!

So, your turn, what tops your 2012 Gratitude List?

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Dec 27 2012
6 Comments
Dogs, Family, Home, Life, Travel

Time Goes by in a Blink

I have been waiting for some sort of moment to blog about for the last couple days, but instead I have struggled to keep up with time. Even in doing less, time escapes me. I do not understand why time spent with family and friends is the time that moves most quickly. It does not seem fair.

This weekend, my family went on our annual San Francisco Christmas trip, the one I looked forward to back in November when we stayed in Union Square for our friends’ wedding. It was a blur. Shopping, dinner, brunch, movie, done. As we walked back to our hotel from dinner on Saturday night, I had to remind myself to put my arm through my father’s as not to lose some part of the tradition.

A bit of deja vu from a month ago and every year for the past 25 years...

Seems so familiar… 25 years of the same view.

To add to the sense of time folding over on itself, here is our annual family Christmas pic in San Francisco five years ago.

To add to the sense of time folding over on itself, here is our annual family Christmas picture in San Francisco six years ago.

This year.

2012. Amazing how six years changes things– my sister all the way to the right has a four-year-old son, my sister all the way to the left used to be the little one in the middle, my brother apparently now smiles, my sister two from the left brought her boyfriend this year, and I am married. What will the next six years bring?

Sunday night we raced home to attend a Christmas party with friends. Standing around talking about babies and weddings to many of the same people I have known since elementary school, there was no clearer expression of time passed. Weren’t we just the little ones making gingerbread houses and driving our teacher crazy the day before winter break? Now I am that teacher…

Monday I scrambled to clean the house and wrap the last presents in time for Alex’s family to come over for dinner. Then I blinked and it was Christmas morning. I staggered the opening of each present as not to let the experience pass by too quickly. My dad sat to my right and refused to open any until the rest of us had finished. We were on the same page, yet somehow it all managed to become part of the blur as well.

Here is one of the presents I took my time opening... And, yes, I was that excited to get a vacuum cleaner.

Here is one of the presents I took my time opening… And, yes, I was that excited to get a vacuum cleaner… Further proof life has changed.

Yesterday and today were filled with visits with friends. Brunches and lunches and afternoons spent drinking tea and laughing. This evening I am certain that the fastest way to pass the time is in the company of those you love. Seems a bit ironic, doesn’t it? The moments we most want to savor are also the moments that pass most quickly.

I hope you are having a lovely end of the year in the company of those you love. If you are anything like me, I also hope you take a moment or two to yourself to help slow it all down. I leave you with a couple of my favorite pictures from the last few days in an effort to hold onto the good moments a little tighter.

And, of course, it's not Christmas without Simon in a santa hat.

Of course, it’s not Christmas without Simon in a santa hat.

My youngest sister and my nephew, this picture is pure love.

My youngest sister and my nephew, this picture is pure love.

Five years from now, she'll be 21 and in college... A very strange thought!

Six years from now, she’ll be 22 and almost done with college and I’ll be 35… Here’s to enjoying all the good moments from now until then!

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Dec 24 2012
6 Comments
Family, Home, Life, Travel

Happy Holidays!

So many words to share but little time. A house to clean, still two gifts to buy, fourteen people visiting our home this evening. The holidays are a blur of faces, everyone from childhood friends to coworkers to close relatives squeezed into gathering after gathering. Engagements, babies, hugs, laughter. Maybe a couple tears, mostly good ones though. Shopping in the City, drinks and dinner with family, a fancy party dress that makes me feel like a little girl, twirling through the hotel lobby.

Wishing you holiday cheer no matter what or how you celebrate!

San Francisco

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Dec 21 2012
6 Comments
Life, Teaching

Week 18: Gingerbread & Rainbows

I did not expect the world to end today. However, it did feel different this morning. The sunrise was spectacular. A full rainbow danced across the sky. Happy laughter floated through the halls, a sweet friend and coworker newly engaged. Kids with sticky fingers and smiles as they constructed gingerbread houses. So much excited energy for winter break.

I was presented with a lesson today. Sometimes we need to embrace things as they are instead of fighting for control. I forget this when I teach sometimes, expecting students to act a certain way instead of gently guiding them in a mutually agreeable direction. I’m learning.

12/21/12 will go down as a good day in my book. Struggles, messes, laughter, and beautiful skies.

“Please Mrs. M, can’t you stay just ten minutes longer?”

Those after school words mattered most of all.

Rainbow

Sunrise

Gingerbread

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Dec 20 2012
3 Comments
Health, Life, Teaching

Feelings Jar Part II: End of Week Purge

Feelings

This afternoon I dumped a week’s worth of feelings onto my desk. Originally, I planned to let them stack up inside the bear container, but it was confusing to keep track of which ones I had read and which ones I had not, (not to mention the voyeurs peaking into the clear container trying to read each other’s secrets). So, the bear cleansed his feelings. He feels much better now.

Frustrations, anger, happiness, excitement, crushes, hurt feelings, jokes, concern over the imminent end of the world…

I have to admit, I felt a little bit like an advice columnist this week. Case in point:

Dear Mrs. M,

I have a problem. My friend likes this girl and I like the same girl but I don’t want to hurt my friend, what do I do? I think she likes me too…

Signed,

Conflicted

Funny how early these problems start. I remember the same conundrum, which actually resulted in my relationship with my husband. My friend liked him first. Tricky territory. I told the kid it seems important now but it won’t be forever, be kind and don’t worry so much.

Sifting through all the feelings this afternoon, making sure I did not miss any cries for help,  I discovered my own lesson. The jar was good because it gave me a space to deflect some of their stress instead of instantly absorbing it. I was able to deal with their energy when I was ready. Likewise, throwing out the pile at the end of the week left me cleansed, too.

Have anything you need to throw out this week?

No time like the present.

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Dec 19 2012
11 Comments
Family, Home, Life

Wedding Dresses Don’t Belong in Boxes.

I said I wanted to sell my dress.

I said I was not sentimental.

No one bought it.

I lowered the price.

Not a single bite.

Minus some weirdo who wanted to wire money from another country…

So, I gave in.

Three years later.

I bought a preservation box,

Wrapped the lace in acid-free paper,

Put a lid over my beautiful dress,

Said good-bye for decades.

Now, I open my closet to see a sad white box that won’t fit under my bed as promised.

Before a stunning gown draped over the door frame,

A happy reminder.

Feels like I put away a chapter of my life,

A year spent planning,

A day I will never forget,

I guess the honeymoon is over.

I am no longer the bride.

The dress is tucked away.

I am the wife.

Need a wedding dress by chance?

I still say wedding dresses don’t belong in boxes.

Dress.

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Dec 18 2012
5 Comments
Home, Life, Teaching

Alternate Gravity Environments, Little Romeos… & Yoga!

Not sure what is in the air, but today was awesome. Tuesdays usually bug the heck out of me because I have no prep and my kids go a little stir crazy in my room from 11:40 to 3:15. I try to get them outside for a bit, but that doesn’t always do the trick.

Today we went outside to measure how far we can jump in order to calculate how far we could jump in alternate gravity environments. They loved imagining how they would float more than six times as far on the moon or sink like an anchor on Jupiter.

And, one of my all-time favorite kid quotes emerged from the day:

“Mrs. M, Mrs. M!”

“Yes?”

“If a girl ever says she’s into bad boys, I’ll just tell her I stay up past my bedtime!”

Instant classic.

I don’t think the day was fundamentally less stressful than any other, I just did a good job of centering myself and being present. Maybe it’s the upcoming break, maybe it’s all the yoga and meditation, who knows, but I’ll take it!

Speaking of yoga, I came home to two little gems: 1. A surprise yoga magazine from Alex’s trip to Whole Foods, 2. A yoga book a yoga-teaching friend recommended. Talk about excitement. I spent the first half of my evening reading on my yoga mat, (which, I might add is a great way to stretch and read simultaneously…).

Grateful for a good day and looking forward to an inspiring, productive, transformative winter break and 2013.

Only an hour or so in but already on the recommend list...

My aunt recently asked how I have time to read so many books… Sad answer, I have book ADHD… I read multiple books simultaneously, resulting in slow completion times but exposure to a lot of great information. There is just too much good stuff to read in the world. I’m adding these reads to my yoga recommendation list.

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Dec 15 2012
6 Comments
Health, Home, Life

Yin Yoga, Light & Meditation

Lying on my mat in a warm, dark room filled with meditating Yogis, I saw a galaxy of stars. Darkness punctuated by brave, brave light. Even in the most overwhelming darkness, billions upon billions of lights shine in the sky, reminding us of our own light here on earth. It is our job to shine through the darkness.

Tonight I am grateful for Yin Yoga, my own light, as well as yours, and meditation. In the New Year, I am determined to become a full-on Yogi. Wish me luck, I’m excited.

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Dec 15 2012
10 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Writing

Celebrate Those Mistakes, Darn it!

I made a mistake today at work. I hate making mistakes. It was one of those memorable mistakes that I’ll carry with me until it is fully resolved. I wish I could explain more, but this is not the right forum. In simple terms, I put too much trust in a child who could not handle it.

At my last job, I made a big mistake early on. I prepared a presentation for my boss to deliver to the heads of a major bank but left out 90 or so of the 100+ slides. It was an error in communication. I misunderstood. As I sat by his side in a San Francisco high-rise, I had my first “oh, shit” moment at work. Thankfully, he did not fire me and everyone laughed. I got off easy.

It’s funny. I’m working to reframe how students see mistakes in my classroom. Maybe I should take my own advice. Instead of being embarrassed, I invite students to celebrate their mistakes and explain what they learned from them. Everyone grows in listening to each other. Students that participate are put on our Shout-Out Board for the week, under the heading, “Our most awesome mistakes we learned from!” They love it.

We kicked off this shift with a presentation about growth vs. fixed mindsets, emphasizing that intelligence is not fixed but earned through hard work. Sure some people have to work harder to get to the same place, but everyone is capable– a very powerful message that ties back to the whole idea that we need to praise kids for hard work instead of intelligence, (<– one of my favorite articles on parenting/teaching of all time).

Chart credit Pinterest.

Credit Pinterest.

Some companies are taking a similar approach by celebrating employees’ mistakes at work. Apparently, some pretty darn intelligent people believe that celebrating mistakes fuels innovation, risk-taking, and minimizes the repetition of company-wide mistakes made in the future. For all my business-minded readers out there, I recommend clicking that link.

So, tonight, instead of beating myself up, I wrote this post to celebrate the fact that I am human, I take risks and I make mistakes. The more I think about it, the more I also see that many of the risks I take at school pay off. Without my creative approaches to behavior management, I would not survive my job. While it sucks that I failed this time, I will make better mistakes tomorrow. Mission accomplished, mistake celebrated.

"I will make better mistakes tomorrow." Credit Pinterest. Side note: I'm a big fan of this tattoo positioning, had been thinking about one on my wrist, but like this better I think... Different words, though.

“I will make better mistakes tomorrow.” Credit Pinterest. Side note: I’m a big fan of this tattoo placement… Just saying 😉

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Dec 14 2012
8 Comments
Family, Life, Teaching

Week 18: Keeping School Safe

This afternoon, I sat at the back table of my classroom and checked my email while my students finished a test. I knew nothing about what happened in Connecticut, always late to know, most of my day disconnected from the internet. Another teacher wrote an email suggesting we might do something to reach out to Sandy Hook Elementary School…

I had no idea what he was talking about.

Reading the CNN updates as my students concentrated on parts of speech, my eyes filled with tears. The world is filled with so many horrors, but nothing is quite as horrific as violence toward children. I don’t know if it is because I am a teacher or because I was in a room full of kids, but this story shook me more than any other in my life.

It breaks my heart to think there is one more thing for my students to fear. Life outside of school is already scary enough. I will never forget my residency year when a student told the class about how his grandfather was gunned down in his front yard. Half the room had something similar to share. I was shocked.

Anxiety rooted in real life trauma is common for many of the children I serve. I am often thankful that at least my kids can feel safe at school. I tell them that everything else stays outside. “You are safe,” I say. Those are the only words I have to offer and I mean them.

Now I fear many of my students will hear this story and be afraid at school, too. Threats of violence are not uncommon. We go through the motions of threat assessments, psychological evaluations, and lockdown drills, but I downplay the likelihood of violence occurring. It’s all I can do to keep my sanity.

This story hit too close.

I grieve for the families and students robbed of life. I grieve for our country. I grieve for fear.

School should be a sacred space, the place that everything else in our world is kept at bay, where kids feel safe. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it this way, even if it means not saying anything to my students because I don’t want to give them something new to fear. I now get why parents sometimes choose to shelter their children, the world is a hard place and kids deserve a space to feel safe.

Dec 13 2012
4 Comments
Family, Home, Life

It Won’t Be Long Before Another Day…

I remember being three or four years old. My mom would turn on my little cassette of lullabies and lie down next to me until I fell asleep each afternoon, the curtains drawn, darkness tricking me into a nap. Snuggled up to my mom, I felt loved, safe. The feeling is so real, even twenty-five years later, I can still see the light hitting the back of those curtains, feel the warmth of her arms holding onto me, hear her voice gently singing me to sleep.

Time is a funny thing. I can reach back and touch that memory even though thousands of others have slipped by unnoticed. Makes me wonder what I will hold onto from now.

Tonight, I share a little piece of me from twenty-five years ago, a song I caught myself singing while I made dinner tonight. As a kid, I swore it was written for me and my mom. Now, it means even more. A time capsule from the past. 

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Dec 11 2012
7 Comments
Dogs, Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Writing

Make Today Matter

Baby, it’s cold outside…

It’s that time of year. It’s hard to get out of bed. 6AM in chilly darkness is torture. I’m tired and grumpy, the first one awake. The dog moves seamlessly into my spot as soon as my feet hit the carpet. I’ve never been so jealous of a ball of fur.

This week I realized I need to reframe how I see the world in the morning. My plan of attack, three words taped to my mirror.

Make Today Matter

I may not win any decorating awards with this choice, but I’m hoping it will remind me to begin my day with a little positive reflection. Heck, I have notes everywhere else– the kitchen, my computer, my desk, my lunch bag… About time I put a note the first place I look each morning.

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