Author Archives: olivia

Dec 17 2012
9 Comments
Teaching

Need to Talk? Try the Feelings Jar.

Feelings Jars

If you need to talk, I know a repurposed animal cracker jar willing to listen. Sure, I could have spent a bit more time making it pretty instead of just slapping a poorly-cut index card over the label, but I’m not that kind of teacher, sorry. Pinterest is not my thing. Hold the gasps, I think it’s cool if it’s yours.

I am, however, the kind of teacher that thinks this jar is pretty amazing. The school psychologist suggested I offer it as a way to help students settle down after recess and lunch without needing to tell me fifty million stressful things.

Today, day one, I think it worked. Hand in the air? No problem, write it down and put it in the jar! Students did not protest, I was able to get to my lessons faster, and everyone got to eat a whole lot of animal crackers, success! I also read some pretty interesting comments, including:

“I’m really happy because I have two little hamsters.”

“I’m so excited Christmas is next week.”

“I’m scared of oranges.” {Huh?}

“I’m scared.” Followed by later in the day, “I’m calm now because I talked to the school psychologist.”

I’ll spare you all the so-and-so’s are being mean… Those will get old fast, but at least the students now have a place to put their thoughts and I have a way to redirect their energy without having to stop to deal with it on the spot. I’d say I got 20 or so comments today and learned more than I usually would about my students in the process. Not bad, not bad at all.

Have anything for the feelings jar?

It’s open for business.

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Dec 15 2012
6 Comments
Health, Home, Life

Yin Yoga, Light & Meditation

Lying on my mat in a warm, dark room filled with meditating Yogis, I saw a galaxy of stars. Darkness punctuated by brave, brave light. Even in the most overwhelming darkness, billions upon billions of lights shine in the sky, reminding us of our own light here on earth. It is our job to shine through the darkness.

Tonight I am grateful for Yin Yoga, my own light, as well as yours, and meditation. In the New Year, I am determined to become a full-on Yogi. Wish me luck, I’m excited.

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Dec 15 2012
10 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Writing

Celebrate Those Mistakes, Darn it!

I made a mistake today at work. I hate making mistakes. It was one of those memorable mistakes that I’ll carry with me until it is fully resolved. I wish I could explain more, but this is not the right forum. In simple terms, I put too much trust in a child who could not handle it.

At my last job, I made a big mistake early on. I prepared a presentation for my boss to deliver to the heads of a major bank but left out 90 or so of the 100+ slides. It was an error in communication. I misunderstood. As I sat by his side in a San Francisco high-rise, I had my first “oh, shit” moment at work. Thankfully, he did not fire me and everyone laughed. I got off easy.

It’s funny. I’m working to reframe how students see mistakes in my classroom. Maybe I should take my own advice. Instead of being embarrassed, I invite students to celebrate their mistakes and explain what they learned from them. Everyone grows in listening to each other. Students that participate are put on our Shout-Out Board for the week, under the heading, “Our most awesome mistakes we learned from!” They love it.

We kicked off this shift with a presentation about growth vs. fixed mindsets, emphasizing that intelligence is not fixed but earned through hard work. Sure some people have to work harder to get to the same place, but everyone is capable– a very powerful message that ties back to the whole idea that we need to praise kids for hard work instead of intelligence, (<– one of my favorite articles on parenting/teaching of all time).

Chart credit Pinterest.

Credit Pinterest.

Some companies are taking a similar approach by celebrating employees’ mistakes at work. Apparently, some pretty darn intelligent people believe that celebrating mistakes fuels innovation, risk-taking, and minimizes the repetition of company-wide mistakes made in the future. For all my business-minded readers out there, I recommend clicking that link.

So, tonight, instead of beating myself up, I wrote this post to celebrate the fact that I am human, I take risks and I make mistakes. The more I think about it, the more I also see that many of the risks I take at school pay off. Without my creative approaches to behavior management, I would not survive my job. While it sucks that I failed this time, I will make better mistakes tomorrow. Mission accomplished, mistake celebrated.

"I will make better mistakes tomorrow." Credit Pinterest. Side note: I'm a big fan of this tattoo positioning, had been thinking about one on my wrist, but like this better I think... Different words, though.

“I will make better mistakes tomorrow.” Credit Pinterest. Side note: I’m a big fan of this tattoo placement… Just saying 😉

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Dec 14 2012
8 Comments
Family, Life, Teaching

Week 18: Keeping School Safe

This afternoon, I sat at the back table of my classroom and checked my email while my students finished a test. I knew nothing about what happened in Connecticut, always late to know, most of my day disconnected from the internet. Another teacher wrote an email suggesting we might do something to reach out to Sandy Hook Elementary School…

I had no idea what he was talking about.

Reading the CNN updates as my students concentrated on parts of speech, my eyes filled with tears. The world is filled with so many horrors, but nothing is quite as horrific as violence toward children. I don’t know if it is because I am a teacher or because I was in a room full of kids, but this story shook me more than any other in my life.

It breaks my heart to think there is one more thing for my students to fear. Life outside of school is already scary enough. I will never forget my residency year when a student told the class about how his grandfather was gunned down in his front yard. Half the room had something similar to share. I was shocked.

Anxiety rooted in real life trauma is common for many of the children I serve. I am often thankful that at least my kids can feel safe at school. I tell them that everything else stays outside. “You are safe,” I say. Those are the only words I have to offer and I mean them.

Now I fear many of my students will hear this story and be afraid at school, too. Threats of violence are not uncommon. We go through the motions of threat assessments, psychological evaluations, and lockdown drills, but I downplay the likelihood of violence occurring. It’s all I can do to keep my sanity.

This story hit too close.

I grieve for the families and students robbed of life. I grieve for our country. I grieve for fear.

School should be a sacred space, the place that everything else in our world is kept at bay, where kids feel safe. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it this way, even if it means not saying anything to my students because I don’t want to give them something new to fear. I now get why parents sometimes choose to shelter their children, the world is a hard place and kids deserve a space to feel safe.

Dec 13 2012
4 Comments
Family, Home, Life

It Won’t Be Long Before Another Day…

I remember being three or four years old. My mom would turn on my little cassette of lullabies and lie down next to me until I fell asleep each afternoon, the curtains drawn, darkness tricking me into a nap. Snuggled up to my mom, I felt loved, safe. The feeling is so real, even twenty-five years later, I can still see the light hitting the back of those curtains, feel the warmth of her arms holding onto me, hear her voice gently singing me to sleep.

Time is a funny thing. I can reach back and touch that memory even though thousands of others have slipped by unnoticed. Makes me wonder what I will hold onto from now.

Tonight, I share a little piece of me from twenty-five years ago, a song I caught myself singing while I made dinner tonight. As a kid, I swore it was written for me and my mom. Now, it means even more. A time capsule from the past. 

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Dec 11 2012
7 Comments
Dogs, Health, Home, Life, Teaching, Writing

Make Today Matter

Baby, it’s cold outside…

It’s that time of year. It’s hard to get out of bed. 6AM in chilly darkness is torture. I’m tired and grumpy, the first one awake. The dog moves seamlessly into my spot as soon as my feet hit the carpet. I’ve never been so jealous of a ball of fur.

This week I realized I need to reframe how I see the world in the morning. My plan of attack, three words taped to my mirror.

Make Today Matter

I may not win any decorating awards with this choice, but I’m hoping it will remind me to begin my day with a little positive reflection. Heck, I have notes everywhere else– the kitchen, my computer, my desk, my lunch bag… About time I put a note the first place I look each morning.

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Dec 09 2012
12 Comments
Writing

Shrinking Words & Other Writing Quandaries

Amazing how a couple months away can give new perspective. Allowing myself to move back through Expecting Happiness, stopping at each spot that bugs me, feels really good. The only thing that doesn’t feel so good is watching my word count drop a bit.

I blame NaNoWriMo for two things: 1. My obsession with word count, 2. A lot of extra words that don’t belong. I get that you go back and get rid of them later, or now, but I do think it results in writing that may be more repetitive than if you just go slowly and don’t worry about how many words you hit a day. Either way, it’s a year later and here I am working on the same book.

This leaves me wondering whether I need to add more words for the sake of having a full-length book… Right now I’m at 68,500, but I know it will drop a bit further as I continue. For any of you who have e-published, how many words were your projects?

My current plan is this:

1. Revisit each chapter with the same care I’ve given the prologue/Chapter 1 this week

2. Reread the whole thing to make sure it still makes sense/check for errors

3. Finish my queries/recontact appropriate contacts

4. If nothing comes of the second round of querying/contacts, I will e-publish and/or share on my blog. I’m not sure which approach to take yet. I just know I need to put it out there in order to move on…

More than anything, I am finding it much more sustainable to slow down and get the work done a little at a time instead of feeling like I need to use every moment of my spare time to write. That was burning me out in every aspect of my life, especially my day job. Slowing down these past two months has made a huge difference. Now it’s time to get serious and get this book done, even if it is just an hour or so at a time.

Happy balanced Sunday.

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Dec 08 2012
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Life, Teaching

Teaching: An End to Week 16

Here is a little secret about teachers, or at least the ones I know. We number the school weeks from 1 to 40 as we plan. Week 16 just ended, reminding me we are almost halfway done. Still so much to learn. All those fractions, to decimals, to percents driving my kids crazy. Winter break just two weeks off. Gingerbread houses dangling over their heads like the promise of Santa watching to reward those who are naughty and those who are nice.

When I think of all the weeks I have already survived, I see a bumpy road of highs and lows. This week, thank goodness, was a high. My students worked hard, behavior was good. Only one student went to the office. Consistent behavior management is paying off, even if sometimes it feels painful. I get it though. When you let things slip, each slip gains momentum until suddenly you find yourself in the middle of disaster. Better to be consistently firm.

Week 16 was bittersweet. One of my students rapped in front of the school on Friday for our weekly Town Hall, telling the students “We don’t be rude, we be polite,” teaching assertiveness with four hundred little pairs of hands waving along with him. Still, his friend sat in the bleachers sulking because he lost his chance on the mic. Consistency is hard sometimes, even if it means you care enough about someone to recognize the long-term benefit.

It is strange how two years with the same kids makes you care about them so deeply. I know it goes both ways. They often call me Mom by mistake, the familiarity sometimes confusing when they’re not paying attention. I always respond in a syrupy voice, “Yes, darling?” Then we laugh. That’s the thing. When you spend more than six hours a day directly interacting in one small room, day in and day out, you really do become a family. Even my toughest kids, the ones who would never crack last year, can be made to smile in the middle of their fits.

So, as week 16 ends, I am reflective. I worked so hard to get this little motley crew to care about each other, and now they do, but soon enough they’ll be off to middle school and I’ll be left to start over again. I know this is teaching and I’m not sad exactly, just reflective. We have grown so much and I am grateful to be at a high point instead of a dip.

I leave you with my teaching team’s idea of a good joke. Our Napoleon Dynamite inspired snack day, a quesa-dila bar. Amazing how a little laughter at work makes the day better.

You're invited!

Teacher's Lounge

Tots

Quesadilla Bar

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Dec 05 2012
4 Comments
Writing

Writers, Get Excited.

Chances are, all my writing buddies out there already know about this contest, but just in case you have not heard about Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award, I am sharing anyway. Beginning in January, CreateSpace is accepting pitches for a multi-round contest that ends in May with a $50,000 advance and a publishing contract. Four runners-up will also receive $15,000 and contracts.

Now, you know I like a good contest to put fire in my fingers to get some writing done. And, with a lackluster showing for NaNoWriMo, I am excited to get back to work on my original baby, Expecting Happiness. From now to January, operation finish this sucker. I know, I know, I said I was done before, more than once. Turns out a couple months off, some good reading on the writing craft, and additional input has left me with a list of things I am excited to improve. Plus, still have not perfected that whole pitch thing…

So, if you have a finished or near-finished manuscript, hope you’ll join me in this endeavor. Motivation in numbers… Right?

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Dec 03 2012
7 Comments
Health, Home, Life, Teaching

Trees are still my friends.

It’s funny what stands out to us. Ever since I was a little girl, I always noticed trees. If there was a tree in our yard, I climbed as high as I could and sat and watched the world from above. I would push the palm of my hand against the tree’s bark and feel connected.

Moving from place to place, I often felt alone, but the trees were my friends. Even as a young teenager, I’d climb up the branches and find a spot to sit and write. Often I climbed too high, regretting my decision as I clung to the branches on my way down. I had tree houses, tree swings, tree benches in the sky. I loved trees. They told me things. Like it was okay that we cut them down as long as we were grateful and used them wisely.

When we moved into our first house a few years ago, I was in awe of all the old trees in our neighborhood. From any window in my house, I could sit and stare at their magnificent branches. It truly was my favorite feature of our established neighborhood, the glorious old trees that guarded our little home, their leaves changing colors in the fall then reappearing again to signal spring.

One of the things I have noticed about slowing down to be more present is the trees. They stand out again to me. Not that they ever disappeared, but now they have returned to play a role in my daily life. At home, the spot I do my yoga and seated meditation looks up at the magnificent branches of an old tree. An altar more meaningful to me than any I could create.

At school, the trees remind me to breathe and that life is beautiful, even on tough days. The trees where we line up outside my classroom, their leaves amazing shades of red and orange call to me daily that life is precious, giving me a moment’s rest even as little voices sneak a few words in my line. There are also a set of trees down an old corridor of our previously Catholic girls school that may be the most beautiful sight on earth. A sea of pale yellow leaves beneath white bark on an old brick walkway, stunning.

What reminds you to stop and be? For me, it’s obviously the trees.

Meet my yoga tree. Staring at it day-to-day, I feel calm and amazed how much changes overnight.

Meet my yoga tree. From the floor, this is what I see. Staring at it day-to-day, I feel calm and amazed by how much changes overnight.

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Dec 01 2012
3 Comments
Life, Style

Start Something That Matters

I will put it out there. I love TOMS shoes. I have two pairs, I bought Alex a pair for Christmas, (he just doesn’t know which pair…), and I will continue to buy these shoes into the future. They are comfortable, versatile, stylish, and matter. The company has created a brand loyalty for me that is unmatched by anything else I own.

Maybe it's the good karma, maybe it's because they're cute, but days I wear my TOMS are good days.

Maybe it’s the good karma, maybe it’s because they’re cute, but days I wear my TOMS are good days.

For those of you who don’t know, TOMS gives a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair purchased. I have heard some criticism in the world of philanthropy that TOMS is not teaching anyone to fish, that it’s just giving out shoes as a capitalistic ploy to sell more overpriced shoes, that if people really cared they should just give the money directly to a cause instead of buying themselves a pair of shoes in the process.

I say, so what? If I am going to pay $40+ for a pair of shoes, I would rather a kid with bare feet receive a pair too. I’m going to spend the $40 either way. Shoes are something I prefer to buy new. It’s about time the fashion world be revolutionized. TOMS does this while also telling a story, a story about a guy who went to Argentina and returned with a dream to put shoes on the feet of needy kids. More than a million kids now have a pair of shoes because of his dream.

With Alex’s Christmas present came a bonus, Blake Mycoskie’s book about his entrepreneurial journey to found TOMS, Start Something That Matters. Easy to read, humorous, and inspiring, I recommend the book. I’d say buy it, but even better, buy a pair of TOMS online and get it for free this month, as well as a pair of shoes for a kid somewhere. I love success stories that combine entrepreneurism, passion, and a good cause.

A great read.

A great read.

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Nov 30 2012
12 Comments
Life, Teaching

Twenty-one girls, Nine boys…

My classroom is comprised of 21 girls and 9 boys. When I first saw the numbers, I thought, wow, this is going to be interesting. Either we are going to be the chattiest bunch on the planet or one big happy family. Turns out we’re both, including the group of nine boys that still manages to be heard, loud and clear.

I have a special spot in my heart for these boys. Seriously, they make me hope to have a son someday, keeping me on my toes with their wit and humor. However, they also make my job incredibly hard. Not that the girls don’t too, but my toughest boys, the very ones that make me want to be a mom, also give me the biggest run for my money, literally.

Today they also managed to make me smile, repeatedly. Instead of making me want to pull my hair out, they made me like my job. One of my most challenging even went the entire day without a single fuss, (a first, ever). Another told me I really ought to learn how not to let his behavior stress me out because stress is not good for my health, (which made me laugh, almost uncontrollably). Still another came to school proud he read the fifty pages he was behind in his reading. And, my favorite part, two sat with me through rainy day recess content to share the raps they were working on instead of joining their peers…

So, when 4:30 rolled around and I wanted to go home, I went and watched the fifth grade boys basketball game instead. Last year they asked me a thousand times and I never went, always dissuaded by the drive or the overwhelming feeling of being a first year teacher. Tonight, they waved to me across the gym and shouted my name as I walked by their huddle. I felt loved. Amazing how a little love can make all that other stuff melt away.

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