Category Archives: Life

Blog Mechanics: Give me your secrets!

Hey you– person scrolling through your reader, I need you to click and comment on this one, even if you usually scroll right past me. According to WordPress there are 160 of you who “follow” this blog. In reality, most of my clicks come from reposting on my personal or writing Facebook, (thank goodness for stats), so I realize followers don’t automatically mean clicks.

This morning I filled out an application to blog for Wanderlust Festival this summer in exchange for free admission. As I described my writing attributes, I realized my blog is no longer growing at the same pace it was a year ago, which is why I need your help. At some point, I stopped caring so much about building a platform and started writing just to write. I hit that sweet spot of enough regular readers to be happy with my little blog community.

However, the more I put myself out there in other writing forums, the more I realize the numbers matter to someone– you know, the people deciding who to blog on their behalf, the people willing to give me cool stuff and help me get out there on other platforms. While I may not need droves of readers for my own validation, I apparently could use them to help launch myself as a writer in other forums.

So, I want your insight–

What types of posts are you most likely to click on when I blog? (Teaching, writing, yoga, life…)

Have you noticed any similar patterns for your blog in terms of larger numbers of new followers in the beginning and then fewer as time goes on? Last summer I would get 1-2+ followers per day, now I’m lucky to get a couple in a month. I pick up more when I like/comment on new blogs, but I used to have people find me regularly on their own. Does WordPress expose you more in the beginning? It is possible my writing has changed over the course of a year, but in general I feel my content is pretty similar.

These questions may sound silly, I just want to understand what I am working with here. I notice frequently that other blogs don’t show up in my reader until much later, often causing me to miss posts, which makes me wonder whether the same thing happens to my blogs. Likewise, I notice many bloggers come and go, so I assume some of my followers are now abandoned blogs. At the end of the day, all that really matters is that I like doing this, but I would also like to better understand the dynamics of platform building.

Happy blogging and thanks for your thoughts!

Blogging for Wanderlust would be pretty amazing...

Blogging for Wanderlust would be pretty amazing…

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19 Days of Yoga Rambling

I know today is the 17th, but I gave myself two days of a head start in April. I have practiced yoga daily for the last 19 days, which is probably my longest stretch ever. Here are a few of my latest take aways:

1. Some days lying on the floor counts as yoga, (especially if you focus on breath and meditation and throw in a few lazy poses…). I am grateful to a lovely yoga teacher who told me this would be true. Without her permission, I might have pushed my body harder than would be beneficial.

2. Surfing the internet and reading can be happily accomplished in many yoga poses with a mat on the floor, resulting in far less neck and back tension than the couch or a computer chair. Bonus, the dogs think it’s fun to join me.

3. Yoga makes you look healthier. I have never been told so frequently that I look really healthy. That’s not a statement of vanity but instead of true gratitude. Health is a mission. True health radiates. I’ve eaten really well for years, but adding consistent yoga to the mix makes a real difference.

4. I’m less tired. Earlier in the month I was in this weird pattern of needing a nap every day after work. Now I do yoga instead and it achieves pretty much the same goal of relaxation with the added benefit of endorphins.

5. Yoga is kind of a religion. The more I practice, the more I’m interested in the spiritual aspects, and the more I feel like the mind, body, and spirit are all really connected when it comes to the health of each. I feel more emotionally constant with yoga as part of my daily routine, which spills over to the classroom and all aspects of my life.

6. Real physical strength can be built through yoga. Upper body strength has never been easy for me and I hate push-ups/weights. However, the balancing challenges of poses like crow make building upper body strength fun– I can now hold crow about three seconds, which is pretty amazing considering I was down to zero on April 29. Three seconds may not sound like much, but it feels like an accomplishment when you’re balancing all of your body weight on your spread hands and elbows. Just don’t try crow next to my brother. He doesn’t frequently practice but he’s strong enough to extend his legs to the side in advanced variations. Show off.

7. Yoga brings amazing people into your life. Yesterday an instructor I love shared the idea that when you’re brave enough to be your authentic self, you attract people with similar levels of authenticity. What started as a whim to do yoga every day in May has brought people in my distant sphere closer– so much gratitude for this. More friends with shared interests and values is a good thing indeed.

8. I’m now obsessed with Wanderlust. The posters are at all three of the studios I’ve visited this month, calling to me, “YOGA! YOGA! YOGA!” However, I don’t camp and the idea of camping alone at a festival is intimidating. I need to recruit someone to go with me. I also need to learn how to camp. It is a life skill I really should acquire… Maybe Wanderlust will convince me to give it a go.

If you’ve made it this far, bravo. I leave you with my favorite cover of “Forever Young”– discovered during a yin yoga class yesterday, (motorcycles be darned).

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Week 36: Dear Fourth Graders

I had a guest teacher on Monday so I could visit my mom in Mount Shasta without having to rush back and forth. One of the assignments I left was for students to write a letter to my incoming fourth graders. I asked the students to offer advice from their two years with me. To my delight, the notes were both thoughtful and funny.

Proper anger management and my weakness for laughter were reoccurring themes, even from some of my toughest students. This gave me hope that maybe I really have gotten through to them, even if it does not always feel like it. Just three weeks and two days left. It’s going to be hard to say good-bye.

This week we're finishing up our trifolds for our ROPES projects, a rite of passage before middle school. Activities ranged from fundraising for WEAVE to books on anger management. I have an amazing group of kids.

This week we’re finishing up our trifolds for our ROPES projects, a rite of passage before middle school. Activities ranged from fundraising for WEAVE to books on anger management. I have an amazing group of kids.

"Don't get mad in the morning and don't take it out on Mrs. Mackey."

From my dear fourth graders collection: “Don’t get mad in the morning and don’t take it out on Mrs. Mackey.”

"When you get her mad you just have to cheer her up." So true.

“When you get her mad you just have to cheer her up.” So true. One day I told them it was their job to cheer me up. Whenever I get in a funk, I try to make it into an opportunity to model healthy approaches to mood management.

"Don't get mad at her, just ask for a time out." (THEY LISTEN!)

“Don’t get mad at her, just ask for a time out.” (THEY LISTEN!)

"She'll let you laugh when she's laughing." My favorite line of all.

And, “She’ll let you laugh when she’s laughing.” My favorite line of all.

PS. One last disjointed note. Today we watched this 50 state song and the kids swayed and clapped and sang along. Youtube has made the world of teaching infinitely cooler than back in my day of Schoolhouse Rock… They loved it so much we had to watch it twice, and I have to admit, it’s pretty cool, regardless of how old you are… Made me realize how badly my students need an actual music program at our school.

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Thankfulness Thursday: Good-bye STAR test

Standardized testing is a necessary evil, at least for now. Yes, I think it puts too much pressure on children and teachers. Yes, I think it shifts priorities. However, it is a way to compare schools and prove it is possible to close the achievement gap between low and high income communities.

In two years, it will change completely, and while I have expressed my doubts about requiring schools to give computer-based tests, I’m hopeful the adoption of the National Standards will be a change for the better. Word on the street, teaching will slow down, be more conceptual, an improvement. My fingers are crossed.

Today my students finished their last STAR test in our two years together. It was a joyous event. After STAR testing, the climate at school shifts. Yes, we still learn, but now all the core standards have been taught for the year and I can weave everything together into units on history and art and…

I don’t know if it is the knowledge that I now have five weeks to let inquiry drive instruction or all the yoga or what, but I felt incredibly calm and unaffected by post-test meltdowns and a chaotic room full of students working on large trifold posters for their culminating elementary school project. Construction paper was everywhere. The threat of glitter explosions loomed in the air. Dozens of kids wanted my help simultaneously. “Mrs. M!” “Mrs. M!” “Just one second.”

Still, I was at peace, with a smile on my face. If only I could find this space every day. I suppose the offer of fruit snacks and Capri Suns to put the room back in order didn’t hurt either.

Today we started a GLAD strategy where students express their thoughts and questions about visuals for a unit. We put ours on a map of the United States and a picture of the U.S. Presidents. Beneath is our U.S. History timeline which will soon be filled with cards from their mini-report on the presidents.

Today we started a GLAD strategy where students express their thoughts and questions about visuals for a unit. We put ours on a map of the United States and a poster of the U.S. Presidents. My favorite question: “Why has there been only one African American president?” Next students will create definitions for president, country, and state, then make informational cards about each president to stick on our timeline. May is my favorite month to teach.

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Did someone say yoga?

I’m sitting on the couch, watching the rain. Spring rain, brief and warm, my favorite. The windows are open and the smell of wet earth and concrete makes me happy. I just finished home yoga and a meditation. I feel relaxed. It has been one week of yoga every day. The evenings last longer. I am more patient, at home and at work. Everything is less urgent. So far, so good.

A few quick thoughts:

1. Kundalini yoga is weird. Please feel free to correct me on that statement. I did a program on Hulu that involved lifting and dropping my body on the ground. Oh yes, and lots of chanting and breath of fire. Not my thing, but I’d try it again to be proven wrong. Still not going to buy an all-white outfit, however.

2. Yoga with a View is a better Hulu alternative. Gets straight to the point and pairs nicely with other workouts, (like walking the dogs to the park).

3. Yoga instructors make all the difference. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve discovered some really wonderful yoga instructors who actually make me want to go to class. I had been going to a yoga class that was convenient for my schedule, but with an instructor I dreaded. Now I’ve befriended a couple instructors (one who is moving to Germany, boo!) and feel much more encouraged/likely to maintain a regular studio routine.

4. Yoga buddies also make a difference. Knowing that others have joined me for daily yoga in May is keeping me true, (ahem, Friday night was definitely a challenge, but I did it!). Likewise, having people who expect you to show up to class also helps to stop the urge to just stay home and practice from the comfort of my living room.

5. Restorative yoga is amazing. I attended a free class for teacher appreciation week on Saturday that not only left me feeling deeply relaxed but also prompted me to take the most restful nap of my life. Thanks Tami! (You can check out Tami’s awesome blog here…)

6. Daily yoga is life-changing. Okay, I know I’m only a week in, but I dabbled with it in December, and I’m getting back into that groove. Not only does a daily practice inspire me to eat cleaner, but it also leaves me feeling much more centered, especially while I teach. And, speaking of teaching, I think I might want to take classes to become a yoga instructor. Not right this moment, but if I can sustain a regular practice, I would love to be able to integrate it into my work with kids (and maybe eventually adults too).

Alright, I think that’s enough thoughts on yoga for tonight, but I promise there are more to come. Perhaps you’ll join me for a daily practice and share your thoughts too?

My current obsession-- whether or not to volunteer to work at Wanderlust this summer for a free pass... Any yoga besties want in?

My current obsession– whether or not to volunteer to work at Wanderlust this summer for a free pass… Any yoga besties want in?

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Thankfulness Thursday: Yoga & Healing

Life is choices. This week I chose yoga and reading over writing.

I finally ordered Anatomy of the Spirit and devoured as much as I could after work. I highly recommend this book. For years I have heard people talk about not wanting to give their energy to this or that… I finally get it. We can learn to control the flow of energy in and out of our bodies. Our health depends on it. This book is a blessing.

So much good stuff in life, so few hours in the day...

So much good stuff in life, so few hours in the day…

I also am grateful for yoga and dusk walks with my husband and dogs. My focus on healing is monopolizing my evenings, but there is a peace and calm that comes with this. I want to write more, but I need balance. Just thirty minutes on the computer a day is liberating. Summer will come soon enough.

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May Challenge: Yoga Every Day.

Some Saturdays I go to a magic yoga class. It is yin yoga in a warm room. The first time I went was right after the national tragedy in December. The instructor had us sit in a circle and concentrate on the flame of a candle. By the ending Savasana, I felt like I was floating through the universe, connected to all the bright stars in a sea of darkness.

If you have never experienced anything like this, I know it probably sounds out there. However, over the course of the last year, I have had a lot of out-there experiences. I now believe in the power of our bodies and minds. My visits to an incredible woman who does body work have cemented this belief. Magic is real, or if nothing else, we are powerful beyond comprehension.

Today as I lay in the dark, warm room, I was overwhelmed by gratitude for the woman who teaches the class. Each time I attend, she offers a little piece of herself, words of wisdom set to music I love. Half her playlist is on my computer. I don’t know her and she knows even less of me, but her words always seem to fit whatever my week has brought me.

This week, she talked about the healing power of yoga and how a regular practice makes this power available to us when we really need it. She talked about her own journey with MS and how yoga has been there for her– she is young and my heart goes out to her. A wonderful woman I used to work with, who also faithfully reads my blog, has battled MS for years. It is some serious stuff, but so is yoga.

As I held poses this afternoon, I let her words sink in. Lately, I have done yoga only once a week. I am good at doing yoga regularly when I have breaks from school, but I lose my momentum when life gets stressful, which is exactly when I need it most. Today my body felt weak as I moved through the poses. I hate feeling weak.

The resounding message that kept moving through my thoughts– I need to do yoga every day.

So, for the month of May, I have a goal. At least 30 minutes of yoga daily. I will go to studios, practice at home, stream classes, use books, practice in silence and with music. I will mix it up and be consistent because I realize I have no choice. I want to feel strong and healthy. Yoga is my secret. Will you join me?

If you do yoga, I really encourage you to try a daily practice with me in May. I did not think it would make a huge difference until I actually made it a whole month in December.

We may not have the beach behind us, but at least a bit of team encouragement might help!

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Women: We Could Learn from Our Men

I am sure you have already seen these clips before. The first is the real thing, the second is a parody. Women are asked to describe themselves and focus on their weaknesses. Men are asked to do the same thing and overplay their strengths. While both offer an unbalanced self-image, I think we women have something to learn from our beloved male counterparts. A little self-love could do us some good.

A friend sent me both these clips a couple weeks ago, I watched and laughed (and cried) and then moved on. However, the messages stuck with me. Out at dinner with friends, a girlfriend and I noticed how our husbands like to talk themselves up, “I’m great at… One of my strengths is…” We laughed because we never go around giving lists of our positive qualities to each other.

Maybe we should start.

 

 

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My Triumphant(ish) Return to Writing

The last couple months I hid from writing. Sure, I blogged and wrote a few paragraphs here and there for various projects. I even wrote an outline for a new book and submitted some articles to blogs and online newspapers. I read about the craft. In short, I did enough to feel like I was still a writer even if I was not making much progress.

In reality, indecision and self-doubt paralyzed me. I could not decide where to focus my attention, on something new or old or in between. Forty-three queries left me uncertain of Expecting Happiness, the occasional agent nibble more confusing than inspiring. I considered shelving it and starting something new, but nothing flowed.

I felt stuck. Family members encouraged me not to leave Expecting Happiness behind, a fellow blogger did the same. So, this week, I opened up the document and did what I should have done before. I am polishing and reshaping again for the good of the book. People always warn me I could write the same book forever, but these changes need to happen. We know deep down where we’re cutting corners.

I will finish Expecting Happiness and be proud of it, even if the idea of being proud is counterintuitive to my intrinsic humility. I want to be confident in my writing. There is a lot more buried in these last couple sentences, but I’ll save it for another post. I just know it is time to stop hiding.

I blogged before about how I find myself wanting children but fear having children will keep me from writingAs I revisit the beginning of Expecting Happiness, I see so many opportunities to explore these feelings more deeply, even if they are distorted into fictional characters who do not write but still have other passions lurking beneath the surface. I know starting a family is such an incredible gift, but for me it also seems like a space to hide when I lose faith in my writing. A child would give me the perfect excuse to stop pushing myself.

This morning I woke up and read a post on Offbeat Families by a writer who has decided to have one child. I applaud her for her honesty about what is important in her life. While I will make no similar decrees, I appreciate her reminder of how crucial it is to stay true to ourselves. I see many women wear motherhood as their identities. I understand this biologically-driven desire but I also see that it would be hiding to use motherhood as a reason not to pursue my other dreams as well.

The past few months have felt frustratingly stagnant in various ways, but I am beginning to see there is a reason behind it all. Now is my time to write, untethered, to carve out the space I will someday covet as time stolen from other parts of my life. I’m laying the groundwork for a life spent writing, regardless of the outcome. I write because it helps me make sense of life. When I distance myself, I feel lost. I must keep going and Expecting Happiness must be finished.

My new goal: Try even if I might fail.

Yes, this probably means self-publishing.

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I want to scream & shout & let it all out…

Okay, so you know how I was loving my job last weekend?

Today, I’m exhausted. I feel like this week aged me an extra five years. The kids are antsy. Some are downright angry. A few have been rolling on the floor. STAR testing is next week. The hype is too much. Monday I am planning a day of relaxation. No test prep, just normal review/lessons with some mindfulness exercises thrown into the mix. I think if we play jeopardy or math baseball one more time they might revolt. Today they nearly did.

We performed a teacher cheer at our pep rally set to “Scream & Shout” this afternoon. Don’t worry, we took the profanity out and added in fun stuff about college. However, the real chorus will be stuck in my head all weekend.

I want to scream and shout and let it all out…

Fitting, really. I’m going to take some deep breaths and relax now. TGIF.

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I don’t wub dubstep.

“Mrs. M, would you like to listen to my favorite dubstep song?”

“I would wub to.”

“What?”

“I would wub to… wub, wub, wub.”

Loud, fake 11-year-old laughter from a kid who walks around saying “wub, wub, wub” all day for a reaction. You’d think he’d like my joke a little better. I’m officially part of a different generation, you know, the older generation that makes puns. Thankfully, I still get a few unexpected laughs here and there.

For those of you who know nothing about dubstep, there is a lot of wub, wub, wubbing going on, (try saying those words in a deep voice). In fact, the most intense dubstep sounds like a scary car going down the street blasting its music in the middle of the night. For me, it’s more reminiscent of a horror movie than something I would listen to for pleasure.

Still, when the same student asked, “So do you think I’m weird for liking it?”

I replied, “No, I listened to interesting music when I was a kid too.”

I did. Blood Hound Gang is case in point. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire… However, dubstep is proof I’m getting old(er). It makes me feel like I’m about to have a migraine, (don’t tell my little sister, pretty sure she goes to dubstep concerts).

Funny thing, I picked a card in my yoga class this week about letting go of my past self. I gave this a lot of thought. All I could come up with is that my vision of myself as the shy kid is no longer relevant. I guess my distaste for dubstep just goes to show the no longer a kid thing is definitely true. I would have loved all the noise.

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